I'm going to try emerging from my blankets and covers. I'm very comfortable just staying put, but I think I should try stepping outside for a bit and test the waters.
Yesterday I was so close to deciding to either hide in my room while my parents were in the living room with a few other church mates having a cell group, or even going out to watch The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again by myself (loner much lol).
But in the end I decided to go visit my church's Young Adults fellowship at the invitation of a church member I just got to know, Sheena. Okay, technically I'm not a young adult yet - I belong to the Youths but having been part of them before it was just plain awkward going back and seeing familiar faces with different selves. But oh well I was still welcomed anyway so I guess it's alright, just that almost everyone else there save one boy my age were either working or in universities.
I was apprehensive and awkward at first, being my shy self, but people were nice and talked to me. There was sharing and I think I actually gained something going to the fellowship. There were people who had thoughts like me (under the limbo about faith) and there were people who had gone through that phase. I was given support and encouragement after i shared about myself, and of course I was still awkward but all of it wasn't a waste of my time at all.
I'm still moody and all but my spirit's been lifted a little and I don't feel so muddled up and confused like before. I'm going to work towards finding peace, comfort and strength to carry on and seek answers in my life.
I also want to find a permanent comfort, kinda like the same comfort I get (probably you get it too) when i see pictures like this:
Spring, Winter, Summer and Autumn.
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