orange オレンジ

http://www.zerochan.net/1986399

I just discovered this title yesterday night, and I just had to write a post on it...どうしても!

The manga, written and illustrated by Takano Ichigo, consists of just 5 volumes - and that is enough to take your heart on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Orange was serialized from 2012 to 2015, followed by a live action adaptation in December 2015 starring the popular actor Yamazaki Kento, and finally an anime adaption that aired its first episode on July 4th (my birthday y'all!!) this year.

I chanced upon it as I was looking at the list of ongoing anime series on the site I usually watch my anime and was hooked from the first episode. The detailed, realistic art of the anime adaptation depicting the mountain city of Matsumoto is reminiscent of the style of Makoto Shinkai (of the 5 Centimeters Per Second fame).

Matsumoto really exists, in case you're wondering - it's situated in Nagano Prefecture on the main Honshu Island of Japan. And nope, it's not the first time the setting of an anime is based on an actual site. In fact, the fame of such anime titles help to boost tourism in these places that inspired these anime, contributing to the growing popularity of pop-culture tourism. I myself have a bucket list of places in Japan I want to visit because of the animes that were inspired by them - Yuwaku Hot Spring in Kanazawa, Ishikawa (from Hanasaku Iroha), Hitoyoshi City in Kumamoto Prefecture (from Natsume Yuujinchou) - just to name a couple. And もちろん, Matsumoto is a new addition to this bucket list!

Back to Orange - (possible spoilers ahead!)

The storyline of Orange is played out in two timelines that alternate at certain points - one of the "past", and one of the "future".

The "future" follows five friends - Naho, Suwa, Takako, Azusa and Hagita - who meet together 10 years after they graduated from high school. The reason for their gathering - to pay respects to their friend Naruse Kakeru, who passed away 10 years ago. As they dig up a time capsule the six of them buried 10 years ago and visit Kakeru's grandmother, they find out that Kakeru's death was not caused by an accident, but by committing suicide.

In the "past", 16 year-old Takamiya Naho finds a letter addressed to her by her own self from 10 years in the future. She initially thinks that the letter is a prank, but comes to realise that the contents of the letter is true when the letter predicts events like Kakeru's transfer to her school and other happenings. As she reads on further, she finds requests from her future self - to not make the same decisions she would regret, and to save Kakeru.

What really struck a chord in me was the internal conflicts faced by the main character Naho. She is given foresight into what would happen and the regrets she would have as a result of the decisions she makes by her future self, yet she still struggles with her decisions at the moment. In one scene, she gets frustrated and thinks about how easy it would be for her future self to tell her what to do, since "she" isn't the one who has to go through the difficulty. I think about the many things I'd write to my past self - the things I'd implore me to do and not regret - and wonder if I would actually have the resolve to right the wrongs of the past at those moments in time.

Currently there's only four episodes out in the still-ongoing series, but I couldn't wait and finished up the manga in a few hours (thankfully and sadly it's only five volumes). The plot progression is really satisfying, and not filled with plot cliches. Even though I know the whole story and how it ends now, I'm still anticipating the next episode, and the next... and the next...

Anyway, here's the PV of the anime adaptation! It has no captions so I took some time to translate Naho's voiceover to the best of my limited Japanese language abilities :')

In the present, 10 years into the future, Kakeru is not here with us.

I'm writing this letter, so that the 16 year-old me won't regret the things I am regretting.

If only at that place, at that time, at that moment...

If only I had noticed the most precious thing...

The me living 10 years in the past,

From here on there is a lot of happiness and bliss waiting in store for you.

I ask of you, please notice that happiness...

I hope you will not get rid of that happiness.

Aaaand the live action PV which almost made me tear again even though I've already watched the movie :')

Unsent Letters

http://www.zerochan.net/1531987#full

These letters that were never sent - 
With words that did not reach you,
Full of feelings not conveyed
Even up to the day they were due.

I read my own thoughts again and again
But they were meant for you
And somewhere in me still hopes
That one day, you would read them too.

On each one, your name is written
Seeing them gives a weird feeling
As if I had something to return you
Something you probably don't remember giving.

I could send these letters to their demise
But that's something I can't bear to do
For even if my feelings have changed
I'm still in love with that memory of you.

Okay, first off let me just say I'm not gifted in poetry and reading my own work sometimes makes me cringe, which is why I prefer prose over poetry. Yet there are moments when the lines of a poem best capture the poignant senses felt by its creator and are better appreciated during times when you just don't want to look at a barrage of words.

I was cleaning up my room this afternoon when I decided to take a look at the letters I've amassed over the past few years from family and friends. Just like diary entries or photographs, letters achieve the similar effect of transporting me back in time to relieve certain memories I have of the people I knew. However, letters are special in that they contain the thoughts of their writer towards the recipient, who in this case is yours truly.

I was enjoying myself reading some letters again (there was one by my Angel - from the Angels and Mortals game in VJGE - which was twice the word count of a GP essay!) when I picked up four folded letters in different colours with his name on them. These are special letters - letters that I wrote about 3 years ago on separate occasions and didn't give to their intended recipient. So these letters stuck out from the rest because they were the only ones not meant for me.

If you've been reading my blog entries or have known me well in JC, you would know that I had a major crush on a senior of mine in the same CCA, which was Guitar Ensemble. I didn't know him well enough to say I was in love, but I was very interested in getting to know him better. There was something about him that intrigued me - maybe it was how he'd have this quiet and aloof air around him despite being surrounded by friends, as if he was living in a snow globe. Interest probably became a sort of obsession to know as much about him as possible since I didn't have many chances to interact with him. But I wanted to be his friend.

I wrote letters for different occasions -  the school's farewell ceremony, VJGE farewell party, a well wish for the A Levels and one that was really for my own sake of writing to him. I remember I kept my letter ready in my skirt pocket for the chance that I might give it to him, but the letter would always return home with me. Heck, I didn't even have guts enough to look at him and smile or say hello whenever we passed in the corridors even though he would have recognised me! Dawn would call me out on my utterly stupid behaviour whenever I passed by him by, pretending to not have seen him. For some reason, I got so nervous seeing him around in school that I couldn't really look at him straight on, and yet I'd always note and look forward to the regular times I'd "bump" into his class between lessons at certain venues.

Did he ever know about my feelings? Probably, but not in the way I would have wanted him to. You see, I'm not very good at concealing my feelings when I'm interested in something or someone, and probably the seniors caught on that I liked him. So I noticed that they would nudge him whenever they saw me, or stuff like that. Yet, he was still really nice because he'd still smile at me whenever I didn't look away or converse with me normally during the few lucky occasions I got to talk to him.

After all this time, my feelings are pretty much changed I guess since life has taken over. But it would be a lie to say I have not thought of him in those years. He's still someone special to me, but that's probably because of the memories I have of him. I wasn't sure I was going to experience such strong feelings of interest after my first relationship failed, and yet he enabled me to do so. For all I know, he's changed and become someone I no longer recognise, but I will still remember the same person I wanted to send these letters to.

Hitting the lows after the peak

Sometimes I wish I could scratch out my existence - like how I would with an unwanted itch, or a misspelt word on a piece of rough paper. If it doesn't go away, maybe I'd try even harder to make it disappear, to make me disappear.

What if there was a way to erase the encounters I had with all whom I've met? To be invisible in this world, with throngs of people bustling past me without as much as a glance my way. Would the pains of socialisation like rejection, disappointment, envy etc. all go with them as well? Would I finally be liberated from the sufferings of human contact? I would probably never know, because I'm already bound with no way to disappear completely.

I'm starting to descend further into a personal hell. I am tired, feeling ugly and worst of all, feeling absolutely lost. And yet I carefully paint on a facade of contentment and self-assurance to keep out anyone who might attempt to know me better. I make the decision for them - No, you don't want to know who I am. I look on as they admire the mask I've fashioned for myself, all while screaming That's not who I am inside like an obnoxious adolescent girl I would detest.

Most of my life I'd been heavily guarding myself. I watch as people run and stumble in various obstacle courses of life, and tell myself Look at them. That's not where you want to be. That's not who you want to become. We are going to avoid it completely. An apt example would be the topic of marriage.

Of course, I'm at least 7 years too young to talk about getting hitched and starting a new family. But I do think about what my future entails. I've watched how my parents are great at parenting, but terrible at marriage. They probably don't think much of it, but I do get affected heavily every time they quarrel. I see myself possibly undergoing a similar marriage of poor communication, disagreement and sadness, and stagger and back away from such a future. That's not where I want to be. That's not who I want to become. I repeat to myself over and over again. Then, let's take measures to avoid it completely. Which would partly explain my aversion to ideas of being in a relationship. Once you get on the path of a relationship, the road diverges into marriage or break-up - and either option is undesirable to me now.

And when things get tougher and socialisation stings even more, all I want is to conceal myself in solitude and forget the world. It's easier if there's no one to pull you back to reality. Yet because of the people who know me, I am bound and can never truly escape.

Koisuru Fortune Cookie

http://www.zerochan.net/1733203

I'd really like to be able to hop onto a plane and fly away to the places of my dreams.

Not that I'm longing to run away from the harshness of life and reality, but because I have a sort of ache inside my soul that longs for an adventure. One of the things I want to do in this life on Earth is to see the magnificent milky way. I want to be surrounded by a dark blanket of countless twinkling stars. The thing about beautiful things (hah) is that we always long to admire them, but it always hurts somehow when you can't do anything else except to gaze at them. You can't own them, you can't keep any of it, except for a fleeting memory. I guess it's like falling in love in a sense - just that there's still a way to be close to whoever you're admiring since they are interactive beings who can respond to your feelings.

This past week aside from celebrating my birthday, I had Dawn over to hang out. I cooked us some pasta for lunch while Dawn sat in the kitchen and talked to me (I was quite impressed with how I could multi-task cutting up, boiling and cooking stuff and holding a conversation all at once - great job, me :D) 

We watched the first episode of a new anime called Hatsukoi Monster, which is about 5th graders who look like ikemen (handsome) high school boys - we couldn't stop laughing at how absurd it was. Do check it out if you're interested LOL.

Then since Dawn has recently come to be interested in make-up (far cry from her prior "I DON'T NEED MAKE-UP TO LOOK PRETTY or something stance to makeup) but didn't quite know how it works, I decided to put makeup on her since I've been using some basic makeup for about two years now. I put makeup on her before when we were going to attend a VJ choir concert, and at that time I was amateurish so I didn't do a really good job with it. This time I think I did way better. The only problem was that the products I used are what I usually use for my own face - which is a little too light for Dawn's skin tone. I ended up turning her into a cross between a K-Pop idol and a ghost HAHA

I also completed the Totoro jigsaw puzzle my parents got for me! After dinner on Tuesday I decided to start on it, and Mom and Dad sat down together to help fix it too. I expected to complete the puzzle over a course of a few days, but the process was so riveting that we couldn't quite stop till we fitted in the last piece 2.5 - 3 hours later. We framed it and now its up on my wall! (let's play Spot the Totoros in the picture LOL)

Anyway it's less than a month till school reopens again (THIS SUMMER BREAK ISN'T ENOUGH orzzz). It's back to worrying about what modules to take, how to cope with school, work and other commitments (which aren't many actually). Can't I just live a leisurely life enjoying a piece of watermelon T_T 

I'll end of with my favourite cover of AKB48's 恋するフォーチュンクッキー Koisuru Fortune Cookie. Two things I like about this cover - 1. the energetic and cheerful upbeat vocals, guitar and percussion really makes for an enlivening song 2. the guy in the middle, Johnny Saito, looks so much like the senpai I hid behind walls to admire from my JC days! Pffft of course that's all in the past now and I don't crush on my senior anymore - it's just that it's somehow pretty cool how you can find someone that looks so much like another person.

20

http://justinjapan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/tokyo-asakusa-coming-of-age-day-seijin-no-hi-temple-festival-japan-portraits-travel-photography-_03.jpg

はたち 

はたち はたち はたち

あたし

あたし はたち ふりそでーしょん

はたち 

はたち はたちだけなの?

そうでしょ 

あたし はたち はたちの

ふりそでーしょん

Twenty

Twenty, twenty, twenty

I am

I am twenty, Furisodation

Twenty

Twenty, only twenty?

That's right 

I am twenty, twenty

Furisodation

- Furisodation by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

Yup, yours truly finally hit the big 20! Not as if I'm looking forward to fast becoming an adult though haha. As usual, I like to take the opportunity to share a little about Japan if what I'm writing on relates there as well. And yes, 20, or はたち hatachi (instead of にじゅっさい nijyussai - literally 20 years old) is considered to be when the Japanese people come of age.

Every year in January, 成人の日 Seijin no Hi, or Coming of Age Day is celebrated. Ceremonies are held all over Japan - regardless whether you've passed your birthday or not, everyone in the same academic year turning 20 will participate. It's a pretty big affair there, with festivals, parties, speeches and the like. The girls don pretty furisode like in the picture too. I feel a little envious that everyone gets to celebrate their coming of age together in Japan - it makes turning 20 something really eventful such that the whole country actually makes a day out of it. Whereas in Singapore, coming of age is mostly set at 21, and the hype only extends within your family and friends - not that it's a bad thing - it's just that it seems less significant.

This year I feel really happy on my birthday, because of the people I care for around me. Turning 20, or basically just another year older, isn't a big deal in itself at all. In fact, the excitement I feel when I'm fast approaching the 4th of July dips exponentially with every year that passes, since I was probably 13. The most significant thing about birthdays is probably having your existence acknowledged and appreciated by the important people in your life. I don't need fancy celebrations, expensive presents and meals, or anything of that sort. Just being able to be reminded and to feel that I am someone who is loved and wanted by others is really what makes my birthday a significant day for me.

But of course, I do love love love love the presents and surprises and meals that I'm treated to on my birthday (who doesn't!) I mentioned that I don't need lavish gifts, but I do really love gifts that were picked by the people who know me and my interests. Mom and Dad got me a Totoro jigsaw puzzle and a beautiful green Totoro frame that comes with it (and I will work on it soon!) because they know I'm crazy for Totoro. Heck, most of my friends would know, judging from the number of Totoro items I have (a soft toy, keychains, drawstring bag, hand-held fan, a terrarium which Iggy got me last Christmas and which I later broke accidentally etc etc.) My pal Iggy, who knows just how much I go crazy for Naruto, got me limited edition Naruto and Sasuke POP Animation figures (THEY ARE THE CUTEST). I love these stuff, but I never get them for myself because sometimes I can't bear to part with the money so readily, hence I would definitely be happy if they bother getting it for me :)

On Sunday, my family and I decided to eat lunch at my previous workplace Cacio e Pepe to celebrate both Stacey and my birthdays together. I kinda miss the restaurant - I worked there as a waitress and kitchenhand when I was 16, fresh out of O Levels. 4 years have already passed so quickly indeed. The kitchen staff had already changed, but Jack and Bee my bosses (two strong and admirable women) are still there. The food is great, but I still prefer the old taste back in the days when I worked with the head chef then - Jasline (my shifu!).

Absolutely, absolutely love it when food looks appetising in a cafe-like setting. This is the place where my love for food and cooking was born :) Jack was really nice to present me a birthday lava cake on the house :3 I used to be pretty scared of Jack's strong and assertive personality as a naive 16 year-old kiddo, but she's one of the few strong women I respect and wish to be like.

Today I went to school early for Navigators, and was surprised with a carrot cake and a birthday song by the other Navigators! Chan Hye, my Nav mentor, is someone who just came into my life last year and helped and guided me in my walk in Christian faith. I'm not the easiest person to work with due to my fear of intimate connections and dependence on others, even though I may seem really friendly and open outwardly. But Chanhye very patiently and consistently prayed for me, and for that I'm really thankful.

Afterwards I met Mom and we had lunch together at Miam Miam in Westgate and basically just enjoyed some mother-daughter time. The person that ought to be appreciated most on this day is my mom, for having endured a difficult labour and raising me into the person I am today. My mom is like a best friend to me, and I can confide everything to her (even about matters like love or simply how Yamada Ryosuke is so cute LOL).

I am twenty. Twenty years behind me, and probably more to come henceforth. *tries hard to think of something impressively profound* YES. I AM TWENTY. Haha I'll sign off with a picture of me (taken by okaasan whose photography skills probably isn't as good as mine LOL) Look at all those キラキラ lights haha

JSS FSC 2016: キラキラ青春 Kira Kira Seishun

Blazing sun, azure skies, glittering sea, the trickling of laughter, the scraping of slippers as we ran...

これは...私たちのキラキラ青春だね

trans. This is our glittering youth isn't it

I just returned from a 4D3N camp with the JSS peeps on Friday...AND IT WAS THE BEST. I haven't had time to properly sit down and write a post on this awesome camp because I had to tutor, catch up on the anime episodes I missed this week (priorities, priorities), and of course catch up on sleep. It's been a long while since I had so much fun, and I'm missing everyone already even though it won't be long till we meet again either at some post-camp outing or at school. This experience wouldn't have been possible without everyone there in the picture - the project directors, programme committee, OGLs, logistics, publicity, helpers and most importantly the freshmen themselves.

The pre-camp which was 2 weeks ago was great, but on Tuesday when we all met at 9am before the freshies arrived we were still a little nervous as to how we'd make a great experience with the freshies. I was half-expecting a bunch of really shy, passive people since that was the case for my own freshman camp last year. However, these cute kouhais (juniors) exceeded my expectations. Bjorn and I were to facilitate the first warm-up game of Double Whacko and to my surprise some of the freshies were already at the stage where they were teasing each other. 

They were really good sport and participated enthusiastically (and shamelessly) in another game I took with Jamie, which was 'Maid Cafe'. They had to dress up and act like maids, and try to charm their customers with the scripts we adapted from Kaichou wa Maid-sama. A bunch of us OGLs and helpers were just squealing and video-ing to our hearts' delight as the freshies channelled their inner moe-ness LOL >< 

The freshies this year had more guys than girls, so each of the 4 OGs only had 1 girl and about 2-3 guys. Yet I noticed that the guys didn't just go off on their own and exclude the girls in their groups. My favourite memory of that was when I saw how the boys in Rilakkuma who seemed more "rabak" were very nice and patient to Sarah, the girl in their team. They would make sure she wasn't lagging behind at times, and even guided her on how to handle a nerf gun at the shooting game. Truly, if it weren't for the freshies who were so inclusive, this camp wouldn't have been as successful. 

The project directors and committee members worked really hard too. Of all, I respect Kah Hui-senpai the most. She's always so calm and selfless even though she has so many things to take care of. When there weren't enough beds on the second night at the girls dorm, she gave up her bed and slept in a sleeping bed. I only realised this when I awoke the next morning to see her curled up in her sleeping bag. We were rushing out the souvenir booklets too, drawing decorations and sticking the OG photos in. As we were doing that, some girls were greatly affected by a huge roach they saw in the toilet during wash-up and Kah Hui very coolly got up and went to get rid of it in a jiffy. I was thinking to myself that we'd be nothing if Kah Hui wasn't with us in this camp :')

On the last night of the camp after the OG performances, the committee members, helpers (basically everyone other than the freshies) got together for photos, after which we kinda went crazy and began to form a circle to do some really funny but empowering cheer. It really helps that majority of us were pretty crazy and so it wasn't all to difficult to launch into some extreme festive mood. I love every single one of them :")

All in all, I don't regret ever signing up to help at this year's camp. Initially I was apprehensive because I felt that last year's camp didn't really end with hyped emotions and therefore I didn't participate much in JSS activities after. But with this camp, I'm pretty positive they'll see my face more often now LOL. I kinda became recognised as a very blur aunty character through this camp too somehow and now the others wouldn't let me hear the end of all the teasings T_T

This is indeed my キラキラ青春 :)