Insignificance

此の世界はきれいすぎる.

kono sekai wa kirei sugiru

This world is too beautiful.

Before you bolt, let me assure you that this post isn't one of those depressing posts I always end up writing (or so I hope). I'd like to think that my perspectives of the world - of life - aren't ideas of hopelessness, of resignation. Rather, I'd like to believe that I'm merely accepting reality so that I may live the rest of my short period of existence to the fullest, sans drama and airy fairy irrelevant expectations.

Anyway, it's cherry blossom season back in Japan now, and I still feel like I've left a part of myself back there. I can't bring myself to forget the places I've been to last month. While a part of me is dying to return, another part of my consciousness understands that good things should linger as good precious memories even in their short time-span. Excess only serves to diminish value. 

I'm glad I went to all those places. The vibes I've gathered from those places resonate within me somehow. Even as the days become tiring and discouraging with challenges at work and at home, I feel at peace when I close my eyes and imagine myself alone back at those places - watching a peaceful lake at Kawaguchiko, catching snowflakes on the post-winter landscape of Kachi Kachi, losing my identity and self among the throngs of people on the concrete streets of Harajuku. 

In the face of the overwhelming beauty of nature or the magnitude of life on this planet, I feel increasingly more insignificant. It's not a negative perspective to take. How so? Insignificance in this case makes you humble. Know this - you are not the only one who has gone through most of the experiences you've encountered. Don't be excessively proud when your selfish achievements pale in comparison to the great contributions others have made to improve our world. Don't wallow in self-pity for too long when others have already picked themselves up from deeper pits and moved on. We as individuals are but like ants.

If you think my perspectives make me a weak and meek person, you are wrong. I have no intention of being lost in the crowd. Insignificance also acts as a motivation to better myself - in my own way. I don't have to follow society's expectations on the road to success and fame. As long as I stand firm by my own principles and stay honest to myself when the odds are against me, I am more than satisfied.

Time is running out. We have no time for nothing. I don't want to waste my time being unsure any longer, regretting. Empty words are wasted on me. Enough of the superficial, and get a few doses of reality. Come to your senses and look around you carefully. 

Of course, there ought to be balance in everything. While I firmly believe in staying realistic in life, I also believe that escape routes are necessary, as long as you keep those two spheres separate by a fine line as best as possible. Anime and games are my escape, and while most people dismiss them as mere entertainment, I for one have learnt a lot from them. In fact, they may have played a significant part in shaping my treasured perspectives on the meaning of life and existence. 

Speaking of which, I've begun watching the animes Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titans) and Kuroko no Basuke (The Basketball Kuroko Plays) which Iggy recommended. Despite having scoffed at the seemingly disproportionate hype over mere basketball for the latter, I have been caught up in the craze hook, line and sinker.

I have never been particularly interested in sports in general, much less basketball. Even though I do know that this anime over-exaggerates the possibilities of the game, I have started to gain interest in it! I have to confess though, that the fact that this anime is male-dominated is actually a huge selling point for me because these guys are good-looking (always so in anime yeap), cool, and absolutely humorous. 

Basically the story revolves around a middle-school basketball team from Teiko middle school called the Generation of Miracles (Kiseki no Sedai) whose individual members all possess a special skill each, making their team formidable and unrivaled. As such due to the lack of worthy opponents, all five members plus the phantom sixth member agree to move on to different high schools after graduation and compete against one another during the high school basketball tournaments to see which member is the strongest. The sixth member (and protagonist), Kuroko Tetsuya, joins a newly formed basketball team in Seirin high school together with Kagami Taiga (another protagonist) who had just moved in from America and wishes to challenge the Generation of Miracles. 

I love all the characters, but so far my favourite is the initial antagonist in the series - Aomine Daiki, the ace of Teiko back in his Generation of Miracles days and of Touo high school at present. He totally slays in coolness and badass levels!

Iggy likes Midorima Shintaro, the green haired bespectacled guy, whom I find pretty cool but a little too uptight and serious for my liking. 

School should be starting around July - August, so I'm planning to stop working in mid June to enjoy myself somemore! Oh yeah, I'll be attending Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information at NTU, so if you're entering that course too, then awesome, we'll be batchmates :) I've been aiming for this school since JC1, so I'm real glad I got in. Time has indeed passed by really fast. I still remember myself during those personal CT sessions with Ms Cheryl and Mr Najib, discussing about my future plans etc. And the future we talked about then is now happening at present. The concept of time never fails to amaze me.

I guess that's about it. It felt like ages since I posted but that was just 20 or so days ago. Work has kept me so occupied that I haven't had time to really sit down and contemplate life like what I always do in my free time.

I'll end off with a really nice and encouraging old song by AKB48 called Sakura no ki ni narou. I heard the song somewhere randomly recently and recognised it from back when I was an avid AKB48 fan. The MV for the song has a really nice spring vibe to it too, with a mix of sadness, nostalgia, acceptance and encouragement.

I like the chorus, which goes like this:

永遠の桜の木になろう

eien no sakura no ki ni narou

I will turn into an eternal sakura tree

そう僕はここから動かないよ

sou boku wa koko kara ugokanai yo

Yes, I won't move from here

もし君が心の道に迷っても

moshi kimi ga kokoro no michi ni mayotte mo 

Even if you get lost on your heart's path

愛の場所がわかるように立っている

ai no basho ga wakaru youni tatte iru

I'll be standing here, showing you where love is.

Avoiding Trouble

I'm an aunt! Haha baby Eliza Chin was born yesterday (yes, it just had to be April Fools' Day right?) around 5.25pm at Thomson Medical Centre. I was at work in the zoo getting updates on the family whatsapp group from when Stella got admitted in the morning to when she finally gave birth in the evening right before I knocked off from work. We visited her later at night and finally saw Eliza! The feeling is indeed different from when I see other babies, because my own sister gave birth to her.

Apart from all the excitement, there's a whole slew of problems arising over the care of both mother and newborn. My mom tells me about how the in laws fuss over Stella even though my sister sometimes emphasises that it really is unnecessary to do that, such as making tonics for her to drink. And somehow my mom is also involved which makes things troublesome (cue Shikamaru's "mendokusai").

This whole in laws thing further adds to a list of reasons why I don't intend to get hitched if I can help it. It's too troublesome. Of course we all do know and understand that my mom and my sister's mother in law are deeply concerned about the health and wellbeing of the mother- daughter pair, but i really think that all the disagreements and complaining in between are just a waste of time. 

Basically all pointless, petty, prideful arguments are a waste of time, energy and thought. Most of the quarrels I see in couples are actually very trivial (and somehow follows an unfortunate trend where women are most of the time the unreasonable ones). Fuelled by pride and a need to be right, both sides go on and on about how their opinion is correct and how their partner's are irrelevant - nobody is actually listening to each other. Which is one of the biggest flaws of people in this world. 

For me, unless I'm terribly wronged, id rather just keep my mouth shut and focus my energies on something more productive rather than try to prove a point of some stupid trivial squabble. However im only speaking from a third person's perspective. If I ever get into a relationship I might commit the same faults I detest and never realise it. Because love is blind isn't it pfft.

Anyway I'm excited to see how Eliza will grow as she starts her life on this world!