It's going to be the start of the last week of June hols and YES i am freaking out like a little shit cos of MYEs.
I'm crossing my fingers really really hard that some miracle of some sort will happen - the haze will be so terrible it shoots to the "it-will-seriously-kill-you-like-a-zombie-virus-thing" range and SCHOOL WILL BE CLOSED FUCKYEAHH NO MORE MYEs!
or even something like getting struck by lightning and suddenly gaining powers like an IQ of 1 million or super good memory to help ace my exams.
Hah. what am i thinking. But i somewhat like this haze (hey thanks Indonesia) cos when i wake up in the morning and look out of the window i like to imagine we're in apocalyptic times *cue dramatic music* and mankind is fighting for survival or some shit. And then i don a mask to protect me from the poisonous fumes that will kill me if i inhale too much and step out of the shelter of my home into the dangerous world where i will scavenge for supplies to aid me through the tough times.
okay yes enough samantha you lil brat. stop cursing the world for goodness' sake.
So besides studying at Limbang Macs and working i've been Youtubing and listening to music to chill off. Have you heard of PEWDIEPIE ?! HAHA he's amazing he's so funny this is the first video of his i saw and after that i went to watch his montages and gameplays (so far i've watched Misao, Mad Father, Gretel and Hansel, Pizza 1 & 2 and some episodes of Happy Wheels)
He does mostly action and horror genre games (i likey) plus his commentaries are hilarious.
Then while studying i've been listening to music in my IPhone and there's this song i've listened to for trillions of times yet i never get sick of it (You know there're songs you listen to alot at first but after a while you just skip it when it comes on cos you're SICK of it) but not this. It's Young Folks by Peter John and Bjorn. Okay the music video is kinda boring but i love the music. I never ever get sick of it!And it holds not much of a meaning too.
Anws my birthday's coming soon and mom keeps asking if i want to have friends over for a celebration but i was like no, cos my friends all live in the east area except Dawn and my birthday's in a busy and critical time (during MYEs dammit).17 huh...i'm finally going to be 17. With every passing year i find birthdays less and less significant and all i just want is a simple meal and cake. (STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE PUHLEASSSEEE)
The first week of June hols is over...and i feel so unaccomplished.
Basically how it went was that for Fridays - Sundays (except today) my day would be spent at Cacio e Pepe working in the kitchen. Then for the rest of the days it would be doing household chores in the morning and studying either at the library or Limbang Macs for the whole afternoon till evening. There was one day when i studied at Macs at night cos i decided to sleep in for the afternoon hehs.
Of course i'm not the perfect mugger so i relax by watching gameplay walkthroughs, music videos...and stalking people. ok i've said it. i DO stalk people. esp people that interest me haha. but you can't really blame me cos whatever's on the Internet is for people to see isn't it. In my personal diary which i write in i did pen down a thought that went "...i'm so good at this that i think i can make a good private investigator or something..." positive thinking,positive thinking...
So far i've finished Resident Evil Revelations and Remember Me (Boston was watching the latter so i decided to give it a shot).
When i watch gameplays i feel a kind of satisfaction, as if i am in another world. It feels like watching a really exciting movie with the best effects - more blood, more gore, more action, better graphics, lovely character designs, superb background setting stage designs - you name it. There's a sought of sadness too, firstly cos you're just a spectator, not a player, and secondly cos it all ends when the game's finished.
But i feel like i get judged watching gameplays cos i'm a girl and the world is sceptical about girl gamers. They think it's a ruse to get attention and favour from guys. Yes there are girls like that out there, but not all are like that, okay?
If you know me well, i'm NOT one of the many girls who have frequent girl outings and shopping sprees (i feel awkward stepping into a boutique alone even when i'm dressed in outside clothes so i mostly shop with my sister and my mom...i get to buy on their credit too!:D)
It's not like i don't want to. I envy those girls (bitches they become when i'm jealous but they're really not) who post their lovely filtered camwhoring pics or selfies or selcas as they like to call them on fb and twitter (thank heavens i do not have an instagram account) But then again i want to be doing something i'm comfortable with, and dressing up pretty and fashionable and going out for lovely lunches and shopping trips is not exactly what i enjoy. Being caught up with how i look and dress is fucking tiring.Besides i already do not have a flattering figure or appearance, so any amount of prettying is kind of useless - not like i have anyone to show to and not like anyone gives a damn.
I want to escape this superficial helpless reality. And dreams start to reduce in numbers with age.
Turning to gameplays is like playing a dream created by the geniuses' dreams and imaginations put on the drawing board in the gaming companies' creative studios. Ideally i want to live in the place they create - walking on the streets of Neo-Paris in Remember Me, splashing paint on blank canvases in The Unfinished Swan...even running away from zombies in the Resident Evil series or the darkness in Silent Hill...
At least in those worlds the characters have a purpose...
In the games if i were a character...any character, i don't even mind being the antagonist (actually i take satisfaction in playing the bad guy roles...people are not evil and bad for no reason even though most of the time their catchphrase is "I WANNA RULE AND CONTROL THE WORLD THEREFORE I AM CAUSING DESTRUCTION")...if i were a character i would have some sort of ability be it controlling memories (Remember Me) or even using a badass rifle or shotgun.(OR A BAZOOKA that's always the finishing weapon in most of the RE games), i would have a purpose be it save the world or ruin the world...and i would look cool cos of the amazing character designs:
haha i knew you'd be thinking "this girl's biased she's only referring to the main characters that would of course look good" so i put up the Leapers ( memory addicted humans who have degraded Sensens and mutate to sub-human forms) AND THEY LOOK COOL TOO OKAY.
In Remember Me my fav character's Bad Request (on the left with cornrows), a wannabe Memory Hunter and Nilin's biggest fan. He reminds me of Darren my AGL cos he sounds like him and kinda acts like him which is quite interesting and amusing. But i like Bad Request cos he's really great and in the end died saving Nilin (on the right).
Right now i'm also working on a lil fan fiction on Remember Me characters in my Notes app on my phone cos i'm so inspired by the whole game idea (i don't know why reviews are so mixed about it it's a fucking awesome game damn you reviewers) and of course i'm gonna somehow get Bad Request back into the picture even though he's dead.
And i end off with Remember Me's brilliant soundtracks:
Nice picture eh? I went to google image 'Italy' and this lovely picture came up! I WANNA GO ON A HOLIDAY :<
Haha okay forgive my randomness. Yeap so i started work again at Cacio e Pepe on Saturday in the kitchen. My skills were still a lil rusty but i think i did okay (as you can see i'm writing this post without being cooked or anything) I cut my pinky though, while slicing the tomatoes for Caprese (don't worry there wasn't blood shed on the food IT'S CLEAN)...now i can't practise properly on the guitar :S i'm gonna die once practice resumes.
Yay so yesterday i learnt to make 2 desserts from scratch! Ben the other part timer was teaching me as i jotted down notes on the lovely vintage looking notebook Chenxin gave me last time. During break (3 - 5.30pm) everyone else were either reading or sleeping (actually they all started out reading but plonked haha) and i was there studying COS THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME DAMMIT nahhh i just decided to study. But i was soooo tired urgh. Plus Sundays are our major clean up days so i was exhausted like hell.
Then i found out my bosses were expecting me to work for the whole of June including weekdays.I mean, i definitely can't!i have MYE to study for - even right now i have insufficient time. i only have 16 days to study minusing my work days. and i didn't work cos i needed cash or something but cos i know my bosses are facing a tough time looking for part timers (the prev one was lousy and just resigned, and Ben can't work for the whole of June) so i decided to help out since i felt bad for rejected Bee's request to work a few times alr. Of course, the pay is an incentive haha.
SLV
Then this morning i woke up early like 7.15am cos today's SLV day! (Service Learning Volunteering i think i'm not sure what it actually stands for) but i had to go to VJC first to submit my mt essay.And now i'm gonna rant about the MRT system:
SERIOUSLY JUST DO SOMETHING PLEASE. actually wasn't it all fine before even without the Circle Line? THE GOVT SHOULD STOP INTRODUCING MORE PEOPLE INTO SINGAPORE.
It is terrible - how would you like being packed like freaking sardines even after missing the first train (can't squeeze in anymore people). I alighted at Buona Vista because i thought changing to the Circle Line would save me from the excess skinship BUT NUUUU apparently alot of people use the Circle Line too. i decided to just tap out and hail a taxi. (no i'm not a rich kid who can just hail a taxi on a whim - i happened to have higher purchasing power cos yesterday was payday!)
And just my luck i got the white taxi the EXPENSIVE ONE. but i felt it was worth paying cos it was a comfortable ride (i hate taking taxis sometimes cos of that heavy pandan smell and the bumpy ride that gives headaches) and the driver was polite...and pretty cute HAHA ok that was unnecessary.and since he took the AYE we drove on one of the roads i love driving on the most ever since i was a little kid peering out through the windows of my dad's car.it's like a highway and you'll see giant billboards advertisements and the shipyard with lots of containers on one side and work officers and buildings on the other (and the old train station).
After vj i took the bus to Mountbatten to meet the core SLV team (Dawn Tif Eric Ida and myself) to prepare the programmes for the elderly and TungLing Eldercare. We went to Old Airport Food centre to order the tau huay for the elderly and haul them back to the centre. When the rest of A15 arrived later they were pretty nervous cos they didn't know how to communicate with the elderly.
Personally i prefer working with elderly to working with kids contrary to what alot of people think. It's not that i dislike kids or whatever but i happen to click better with the elderly, and kids require lots of energy to handle (urghh). And on my mom's side of the family all my cousins (esp the female cousins) flock to the babies (either the nieces/nephews or cousins) and start fussing over them and -spoiling- them. I don't really like the idea of giving the babies loads of attention and goodies (most likely they'll end up spoiled but not always) and so i always avoid joining the crowd of female cousins showering their affection for the babies.
I was the emcee for the programme so i had to be patronising - and i exhausted my whole range of limited vocab (i'm all ready for oral now haha) and tried to connect with the elder folks. apparently everyone was surprised with my emceeing ability cos usually in class i'm not outstandingly social (my class has ALOT of interesting outstanding people) and well yup i'm pretty pleased with myself haha. I had to act out that emceeing role cos obviously that wasn't in my personality and Dawn was saying "if you used that emceeing personality with me i would've punched you cos i know that's not you" which is true. Dawn knows me really well haha.
I felt it was a good SLV though i thought we could have done better cos it was quite messy.But today was a great day :)
