Yours truly is so full of sorrow and melancholy now.
I just watched 5 Centimeters Per Second, a 2007 Japanese animated feature film by Makoto Shinkai. It's a breathtakingly beautiful film with realistic and well-drawn scenes, and I can only imagine how much dedication and concentration it took the animators to piece together the consistently flawless illustrations.
I say realistic, because I could actually recognise the train stations from my trip back in March - from the turnstiles to the top-up machines and the platforms.
Beautiful picturesque sceneries and settings make my heart weep. Some probably understand how I feel - when you see something so pretty, but you just can't do anything about it. It hurts a little just gazing and marvelling at such a creation, but you can't tear your eyes away.
It suits the storyline of this film really well though, I realise - now that I've written the above out. The plot essentially evokes those somewhat bittersweet, quietly sad and slightly painful emotions in you. Actually, there is no plot.
Unlike American films and cartoons that go with the basic Intro-Problem-Climax-Resolution-End plot, this film (along with many other well-known Japanese films) seems to want to embrace the real experiences of life, channeling the almost directionless notion of our lives where we live each day out not actually knowing what to expect tomorrow. It makes you slightly uncomfortable when you recognise that element and empathise with what the characters are going through. Instead of leaving you with good feelings and motivation in life , 5 Centimeters Per Second leaves you questioning our brief existence in this time frame.
This show is a must-watch for people who really appreciate beautiful landscapes, and especially for people who ponder a lot about life. I can imagine some people who'd yawn and fast forward during the show, and go "What the heck" after watching, lamenting about their wasted time, though.
I just wish I hadn't watched it on the night before a work day, because I will bring all the melancholic vibes with me which would just make me even more tired with the work added on.
Anyway, here's the ending song at the end (duh) of the film, with a brief overview of the whole film in form of selected movie time frames:
I just realized that recently I've been all "Japan this" and "Japan that" - and it occurred to me that it can be pretty irritating to other people. Just like how I sometimes scoff at girls who excessively pick up South Korean mannerisms and all, other people may be doing the same to me whenever I spazz about how awesome Japan is. Either that, or they show the reaction below:
That's only because Japanese culture otakus like myself aren't common especially among girls, unlike those starstruck South Korean drama/pop/culture majority of girls.
And Japan is awesome. That's a fact you can hardly deny.
It's just that I probably need to cool off on trying to emulate Japanese people. However, learning their language is still acceptable, right? I mentioned briefly in the previous post that I've begun to take learning Japanese seriously (beyond just picking up bits of common words from anime) - investing in a super thick elementary level Japanese textbook and a notebook to practise.
There you go. I bought the book from Kinokuniya at Liang Court (you can find a lot of Japanese people here!) where a really nice Japanese attendant helped me locate the book. After watching "Abroadin Japan", a Youtube channel by this British teacher living and working in Japan, I decided to get the book as per his recommendation on how to speak Japanese fluently in 6 months. You should check out his channel as he presents Japan from his perspective, and inserts his own "dry British humour" into his videos.
Right now I'm happy with my learning progress, because my speed at reading hiragana and katakana has greatly improved!
Anyway out of randomness' sake, here's something good for you to see:
My current eyecandy of the moment - Japanese Men's Non-no exclusive model Sakaguchi Kentaro! I got to know of Ken-chan through the manga Hirunaka no Ryuusei (My Daytime Shooting Star), which I wrote about last year, as Ken-chan here is the model on which the illustration of character Mamura Daiki was based! He will be appearing in the live-action movie of the manga Heroine Shikkaku as Hiromitsu Kou, set to show in fall this year! Not too sure if it will show in Singapore though.
Ken-chan also appeared in this five-volume 'The Colors of Japan' series on Youtube, which you should watch - not just because of Ken-chan (heheh) - to appreciate the beautiful places in Japan and admire the nice filmography.
I sometimes envy the experiences of the Japanese people especially their school life which always seem so eventful and exciting. However it might only be my unreasonable impression garnered from all the anime and dramas I watch.
But thinking back on my own school life, I did have a few "Japanese schoolgirl" moments, such as admiring a senior in college (*senpai notice me!*), hanging out with fellow girlfriends like in Lucky Star etc., and I have no regrets I guess.
Especially the "senpai please notice me" part - I can't stop laughing at myself. Just 2 days ago on Friday I was back at VJC to attend my juniors' Perfect Fifth 2015 Guitar concert where I saw my senior again after a long long time. Sad to say I didn't get to talk or say hi to him (which would be a lot easier for me now compared to last time when I was still an embarassed junior hiding behind walls to peep at dear senpai), but just seeing him again made me feel the nostalgia all over again.
So you see, as much as I don't wanna annoy people with my Japanese mannerisms, I really can't help it as it's become part of my life. I'll still work hard towards my goal of mastering the language and then probably work in the countryside of Japan as a teacher, just like Chris Broad in "Abroadin Japan"! Which reminds me - I'm no longer going to WKWSCI to study, and will be attending the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS) at NUS instead! I'm interested in taking up Japanese Studies as a minor as it won't be practical at all to major in it. As for what to major in, I'll still have to decide.
Writing about what I love really makes me feel a lot better. I've been in a foul mood these days because of my work at the Zoo as I mentioned previously. Even on my off-days, I still can't entirely shake off the stress from work, so I'm real relieved that I'll be quitting in mid-June. I'm the sort of person who unconsciously gives my all in my work, which makes me regret sometimes when I get disappointed from colleagues not sharing the same work attitude or angry when I find that putting in so much effort is useless and not appreciated at all. It just brings back those same foul feelings from band days in secondary school.
Well for now I'm just looking forward to watching the Naruto Live Action show on 6 June with Iggy at RWS Theatres! We got our tickets some time back online, but Iggy went to request for the physical tickets for keepsakes - WIN! As Haruki Murakami, one of my favourite authors, said:
Read: itami wa yokerarenai. kurushimi wa opushion desu.
Life will always pile shit on you, but I don't have to suffer and let it get me down forever. I still have all these things that I love to keep me positive, and just for that, I am thankful.
It's 11.23pm now - nothing special or out of the ordinary, but I just felt like penning (or typing ._.) some thoughts out. Besides, I've been dead on all my social media - even Instagram, which I was most active on. So let me just discreetly creep in and make a comeback on this platform and express a few thoughts or rant a little.
I've been really tired recently because of my work at the Zoo. The last you've heard about my work there was about me being assigned to entrance duty. Well now I'm assigned to the corporate office as an Operator, whose job scope includes answering phone calls (ranging from general zoo enquiries to calls looking for a staff from some department), replying emails, handling admin like Lost and Found reports, receiving deliveries, dealing with walk-ins at the reception etc etc ETC.
And recently I've been getting shit from a lot of people calling in demanding for overdue refunds, or even just plain rude callers. All that on top of the already heavy workload we are tasked with. From this experience as an operator, I have developed a sharper tongue and firmer stance with unreasonable people and I think that constitutes as being stronger, hopefully. It really isn't easy - I've seen a fellow operator walk off to cry after attending to a call from an unreasonable guest who insulted her. And even when shit piles on us, we still have to press on and answer all the other calls with a fake, practised, pleasant voice while our faces are just plain tired.
So with all these work, all I want to do whenever I get home is just to eat, shower, and lose myself in anime or an Otome game on my phone, then sleep early and prepare for another battle the next day. Which is why I haven't been active on social media at all. All inspiration has been drained from me even though I work in a place where friends and families go to for a good time.
Very very recently though, I've found some kind of new purpose to save me from falling into a dead cycle of work, eat, shower, sleep. Before university starts, I decided to self-learn Japanese. Seriously. So I went to Kinokuniya and invested in a practice notebook and a げんき (Genki) Japanese textbook (that cost me over 60 bucks T__T) and kickstarted my Japanese lessons. I would spend about half and hour daily just practising my Hiragana and Katakana, reviewing and making sure I have internalised what I've learnt by reading random Japanese text on items around me - like the labels on some items at home, or Japanese posts by those Jap instagrammers I follow. It's really great fun to learn something new, be it an instrument or a subject.
Anyway I'll be quitting my job in mid June for good, and will probably take up tutoring to continue earning some moolah. It's a great feeling to be able to say "I'll treat this time." or "It's okay for me to buy this cos it's my own money that I earned" now that I'm earning my own pocket money. It makes me feel more empowered, and more independent. I always hated the feeling of 'owing' someone, or holding back because someone else is paying, even with my own family - pretty much a given since I'm the type of person who hates giving people unnecessary trouble and cannot stand the stereotype of "he's the guy, he should pay for everything".
It's 11.56 now - nothing special or out of the ordinary, but my eyes are closing and I have a battle to fight tomorrow. I will be writing another post in my free time, cos there's still loads I wanna write about!
