Final Fantasy XV

https://images4.alphacoders.com/109/109174.jpg

I just finished watching a gameplay walkthrough of FFXV (courtesy of theRadBrad on YouTube) and it's been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I kinda need to write about it to soothe all the feels that are just going batshit crazy inside.
Since I don't own a PS4 or some other game console compatible with the new game + I probably won't be able to clear the game easily what with my amateur gaming skills and experience, I had to settle with watching the gameplay online.

I've always been absolutely fascinated with the Final Fantasy series simply for their breathtaking otherworldly setting and plot that always extend the boundaries of my own imagination. While I can't say I'm well-versed in all the games having only played FFXIII firsthand and reading up/watching gameplays for some of the more popular ones in the series, I do share the passionate appreciation that FF fans have for the series.

Each new game in the series always seem to endeavour (usually with success) to outdo its predecessor in the various aspects of design, graphics, plot, gameplay, extra features and even background music - in-excluding FFXV. The bar only seems to be set increasingly higher.
If I and many other players/fans have little to no imagination of what could possibly trump the latest existing game and nothing else but just great anticipation and expectation for the next game in the series, imagine the enormous challenge the creators at SQUARE ENIX are presented with. Which is why I don't really complain if the release of a game is delayed or pushed back by even a year or so, since good things are really worth the wait provided you don't die before then.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed exploring the universe of FFXV in the game, with its relatively flexible interface and extensive features compared to the older games. Graphics and character designs were detailed and enjoyable to watch - I'd sometimes pause just to admire certain scenes for a while. However I find that in boosting these aspects, the plot and character story development in the game were compromised. Of course, you can't have the best of both worlds of gameplay and plot, but I was slightly disappointed and rather unsettled about the end. I felt like I wasn't afforded the catharsis I longed for.

I'll be sectioning my posts according to the different aspects from here on to give a more elaborate review. It'll mostly be a comparison to FFXIII, since it is the latest preceding FF video RPG before FFXV (FFXIV was a MMORPG so not much for comparison in my opinion). This is also where I'd flash the spoiler alert for any soul who has wandered here and wishes to check out FFXV on his/her own first without the influence of my opinions.

Graphics and Designs
I love the amount of effort dedicated to making the FFXV universe as real and interactive as possible. I don't even mind how much the setting resembles our own world and doesn't really venture into the more ethereal or fantasy-like realm such as in FFXIII, because I simply marvelled at the beauty of the designs. For the most part of the game early on, Noctis and his crew cruise around in the Regalia (the royal car) from location to location during which you can really take in the sights. I do wish they had more "natural" settings like in Duscae, even though the cities like Lestallum and Altissia were beautiful too.

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/e/e5/Duscae-FFXV.png/revision/latest?cb=20150611175637

Duscae - slightly reminiscent of Gran Pulse in FFXIII

http://www.gamepur.com/files/images/2015/mgs-v/Final-Fantasy-XV-Screenshot-3.jpg

Cruising in the Regalia

However as the game progresses, the universe of FFXV becomes a lot less colourful and more forbidding to suit the dire straits it was in. Though necessary in that way, it was a little frustrating when most of the ending part was dark and hard to see.

The characters, especially the main four guys that the game follows for the most part - Noctis, Prompto, Gladiolus and Ignis - were well-written and complement one another really well. One of my favourite parts of the game was seeing the interaction among the four, and how various side characters or obstacles they encounter always reminded them how important their brotherhood was. My only gripe is that the overall plot of the game didn't really do much justice to these well-written characters, which is quite a waste. I'll describe in more detail in the plot section.

Gameplay
Since most negative reviews about FFXIII seemed to focus on its linearity throughout the game, it seems like the creators took that into consideration and went all out with extra features, side quests and extensive map that affords players more freedom in the game than they can imagine...at least for the early part of the game.

For those who are unfamiliar what linearity in games mean: it simply refers to how much freedom you have sometimes in relation to the progress of the game. Games like FFXIII are considered more linear in that all players generally follow the same route and take on the same main quests as dictated by the game, while in FFXV you run anywhere you want at your own time and have the choice to do whichever side quests you please along the way (of course doing so may cost or benefit you in terms of time taken to clear the game or extra EXP earned). Players may experience the game in the way that suits them, which is swell.

https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/7304517/FFXV_TGS_Screenshot_(22).jpg

http://i3.17173.itc.cn/2016/tv/2016/04/ff15/fff11.jpg

The combat style is really different from FFXIII. You don't lapse into a special fight arena in this one when you encounter enemies, but simply just run head on against them or avoid them as you traverse the map. The paradigm system found in FFXIII where you assign specific roles like medic or ravager to party members is also done away in FFXV. All party members are automatically engaged in combat and attack the enemy all at once (without taking turns). Without a specific medic, you have to rely a lot more on potions and phoenix downs to heal or revive members during the battle.

The combat system that affords player a lot more freedom to move about also increases the chances of blocking or parrying attacks from the enemy and launching blindside attacks on them. This is probably a lot more engaging than in FFXIII where you mostly operate your attacks from a selection menu.

In FFXIII and most other FF games, your selection of party members usually increases in variety as the game progresses and more characters join. However in FFXV you don't get to select your party members or control who leaves or replaces them along the way. Noctis is the sole playable character throughout the main game, though you can control the other characters briefly when executing combo attacks with them mid-battle.

Another thing I look forward to in FF games are the summons. However unlike in FFXIII where you can summon astrals and control what attacks they execute whenever your ATB gauge is filled in the battle, the option of summoning is only given to you according to the system's timing which is very often near the end of the battle to deliver the finishing blow. And the scale of destruction dealt by the summons are just overwhelming, with the epic BGM to top it all off.

Plot
I would say the plot is passable, though I kinda expected a more liberating end after all the tragedy the characters, especially Noctis, has been through.

Things seem to go from bad to worse for Noctis, with his dad King Regis' death, his fiance Lunafreya's death and Ignis' permanent blindness sustained from a battle injury (somehow this got me the most).
He had to make painful decisions to abandon his friends in order to do what's necessary to save the world (a good thing they didn't die). He then fell into unconsciousness to power up for ten whole years before waking up considerably aged to fight the enemy again, and eventually sacrificed his own life at the end of it all in exchange for the power that enabled him to defeat the main antagonist and final boss, disintegrating into a million crystal shards. Talk about a beautiful dissatisfaction.
The end post-credits scene shows the world restored to light, and him and Lunafreya happily and lovingly together in what appears to be the afterlife, but even that wasn't cathartic enough for me.

Screenshot from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJxnYiXDs2E

The general themes of intimate brotherhood, sacrifice for the greater good and growth through hardship does come through during the course of the game. However most of the events of the game don't leave much of a significant impression in my memory, unlike in FFXIII where I can still remember some events clearly. But I guess that's the result of pursuing a more non-linear gameplay.

While it is clear the game is centered on Noctis and his growth to fulfil his role as the next King, I think the stage can still be better shared with the other characters without stealing too much limelight from the main character. For example, I didn't really get to connect with or understand the appeal of Lunafreya's character well enough to make me feel grief over her death. I think that's why there's the FFXV movie Kingsglaive which depicts the events surrounding the death of King Regis paralleling the time of the start of the main game, and the five-episode anime series Brotherhood that gives more insight into the backgrounds of the Prompto, Gladiolus and Ignis to give more background to the main game.

I didn't see the need or significance for Noctis to go through a decade of sleep near the end of the game before coming back to save the day, since nothing seemed to change apart from his appearance. I do dig the older, more regal-looking Noctis better than his younger appearance that just looked so much like Sasuke from the anime Naruto. Only Noctis seemed to change the most over the decade, while the rest just grew more hair haha.

Screenshot from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJxnYiXDs2E

The best part is really once again the bond shared among the four guys. You'll laugh along with them when they fool around and struggle with them when attrition occurs. Even the dialogue during the fight scenes subtly expressed the deep concern they have for one another. I struggled the most emotionally whenever it came to them.

Soundtrack
The soundtrack for FF games are always great, and so is the one for this game which is composed by Shimomura Yoko. I think soundtracks are a vital part of games since they set the mood especially during the battle scenes. The FFXIII soundtrack by Hamauzu Masashi was awesome (refer to an older post where I unboxed the CD pack) so I had high expectations for this one - and I wasn't disappointed. My personal favourites are Fight Fantastica which is one of the battle BGMs and Somnus which is played at the title screen before you start the game.

Overall SQUARE ENIX has really outdone themselves again with the wonderful design and graphics, especially the non-linear nature of most of the game. While I do feel a little unsettled with the plot progression, it was truly an impactful game with lots of detail which I truly appreciate.

I doubt there'll be sequels to FFXV like in FFXIII since it's already established that Noctis has passed into the afterlife with his own sacrifice, but we can't be sure, really. FFXIII-2 opened with a revelation that the happy end shown in FFXIII was only shortlived since the main character Lightning was suddenly swallowed into another dimension with most other people save for her younger sister Serah having no memories of her - which in my opinion was quite a poor progression from the main game to the next. And in the end, Serah the main character of FFXIII-2 herself dies in the game, which leads to the third and last instalment of the FFXIII trilogy. So who knows, the writers may come up with a way to reintroduce Noctis back again.

Anyway SQUARE ENIX did something really cool and cute by creating a mystery CD to celebrate the launch of Final Fantasy XV. Basically it resembles the main game where you get to run around and interact with in-game features, just that it breaks the fourth wall by decorating the universe with bright balloons and all for an eve party literally in celebration of the launch. 

What's hilarious is that the CEO of SQUARE ENIX Matsuda Yousuke makes an appearance in game as a boss you have to defeat (they actually made a game character out of him oh gosh). When he did a laser beam attack, Noctis protested that it wasn't fair to which he replies "Because I'm the CEO."

Final-ly

http://www.iamsetsuna.com/images/video_still.jpg

Finals are final-ly over (I tried)!

I felt like I could finally breathe when the head invigilator's voice announcing the end of the exam was drowned out by the dragging of chairs and rising murmurs of students as they streamed out the doors of the examination hall. It was a torturous semester, and I'm just glad to be done and over with it.

I met up with Dawn after my paper yesterday to show her the way to the laptop repair store I recommended her and also just catch up a little over lunch at Soup Spoon. I'm reminded over and over again about how grateful I am to have Dawn as a really important and precious friend - even "best friend" doesn't seem to properly embody the regard I have for her. She's been experiencing some sort of "series of unfortunate events" in her life recently, so she was really vexed and frustrated - I believe :') is the best emoticon to describe her overall emotion now haha.

She'll be travelling to Japan for a family trip, and thereafter to Canada for four months on exchange. Even though we don't meet very frequently or talk regularly, I feel like I'm going to miss her tremendously when she goes to Canada and freeze to death in the climate there (LOL). We're probably gonna hang out some time next week I guess, before she goes.

I met up with another old friend yesterday too after seeing Dawn off at the station. Since Boston is currently staying at a camp in Yew Tee, we decided to meet up for dinner in the area! Which is great, because how often do you have friends who happen to be in an area as secluded as Yew Tee where I live (not very often, I can tell you that). I've been bumping into Bos coincidentally outside many times now but we've never actually had time to catch up with each other till yesterday.

From my interaction with Bos I must say I really respect him a lot more than I already do now. His responsibilities and duties are really heavy not just physically but emotionally as well. As he recounted some of the really interesting experiences he had in his work over dinner, I was just awestruck and almost reeling from some of the more graphic descriptions because I just couldn't imagine the things he's seen.

Overall I had a blast catching up with Bos, talking about old friends in VJGE, relatable experiences in stalking the social media of people (HAH) and other things. It'll be awesome to be able to kick back and reminisce the past with other people whom I've known before like this too :)

I'm a little unsure how this one month mid-year break is gonna turn out, but I do have some things I need to do and matters to clear up and sort out properly. I'm dreading the inevitable confrontations to come, but I've got to keep steady and move ahead firmly.

Figure Skating Fantasies - Hanyu Yuzuru 羽生結弦

http://65.media.tumblr.com/b1354312392247428c87f28eee950c61/tumblr_o544zj6nqo1ty9qv1o1_r2_1280.jpg

While being utterly overwhelmed by the dry and excruciating content of my revision in the midst of finals, I find respite in several things to retain my sanity (or what's left of it) - one of them being my latest interest in the world of figure skating.

For those of you who keep updated with the latest anime, your suspicions are confirmed - I've been influenced by a recent one called Yuri!!! On Ice which is very simply put, an anime focused on hot male figure skaters who are somehow really intimate with each other (fujoshis - girls obsessed with male on male genres - are definitely getting a field day with this one). And of course I'm sure the fujoshi world is raving over Viktor X Yuri pairing (because I am, despite not being into that genre).

Fun fact: at least three of the characters in the anime are based on real figure skaters! And if you observe the header picture of Hanyu Yuzuru and the main character Yuri in the foreground of the picture below, you can guess right away that Yuri's character is based on Hanyu Yuzuru! (Go ahead and take a couple of seconds to recover from being mindblown :)  )

https://fathulhudoyo.info/ost/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Yuri.On_.Ice_.full_.2024044.jpg

There, there...it made such an impact that you're now curious to watch it right ;)

Jokes aside - It got me curious as to how accurate the anime was in portraying figure skating in real life... and I must say I wound up being swallowed in a black hole of watching video after video and reading up wiki pages on key figure skaters before I managed to snap out of it and resume my revision (albeit reluctantly). Figure skating is a really demanding sport for its athletes, and an intriguing event for its spectators. The way they glide round and round the rink so gracefully and effortlessly, performing loops and spins and at the same time channeling the essence of the music - it's all so spell-binding to watch.

One of the figure skating world's most recognised and talented skaters - Hanyu Yuzuru - is especially great to watch. At such a young age, this guy has wowed crowds and won many accolades with his emotion-filled performances. What draws people's attention to him counter-intuitively is his seemingly low-key but earnest persona that only serves to highlight the beauty of his sequences. Even though he is frequently featured in the media and does photoshoots, commercials and even minor roles in a couple of productions, his shyness and slight awkwardness on camera makes him all the more endearing, unintentionally charming the viewers (and myself included! XP).

http://49.media.tumblr.com/6204a2addd57564133a515b0a2233544/tumblr_nzdgml12sT1utdtwuo2_r1_500.gif

https://40.media.tumblr.com/86d2d7cbd1b2b78ab9170f7a147da5ac/tumblr_nz27tqZeZf1rp3ki0o10_r2_1280.jpg

Such a precious one :')

But despite his cute charms off the rink, I think Hanyu Yuzuru definitely shines best on ice. My regard for him shot up when I read on how he'd insisted on competing despite suffering a rather serious injury from heavily colliding into another figure skater during the warm ups at the FS Cup of China in 2014. He had a huge cut on his chin that required stitches after the competition. Despite the shock and pain, he went on to perform with his head and chin bound up with bandages and clinch the silver medal for it.

I hope I'd be able to one day see him on ice with my own eyes one day :)

Danny Boy

http://www.zerochan.net/1754237#full

It's been a while, hasn't it! Well, maybe not - it probably seems that way to me because of how much I'd been looking forward to writing. 

It's Week 9 of the first semester of my second year, and things have been accelerating to a dizzying speed. Deadlines come and go as quick as the buildings that fly past in the scenery outside the train windows, and after a while it kinda becomes something that you're uncomfortably accustomed to. I revel in times of peace and quiet alone, but even at those times my mind would sometimes restlessly search for another avenue of escape. 

I've been trying to set up a calming environment to help me settle myself, and one way is through music. I especially love slow, relaxed tunes that help conjure up images of calming scenes - like a quaint little cafe, a forest in summer or autumn time, or a rustic countryside cottage. Hence recently my attention was caught by "Danny Boy", a song with a tune of Irish origin and lyrics penned by an Englishman.

Dad has a CD with guitar instrumental covers of well-known songs such as Scarborough Fair and Greensleeves that he'd play sometimes on Sunday morning when we're all preparing to go to church. I'd always note the second track for its calming tune that is reminiscent of a countryside home, but never found out the title of the song much less knew there were lyrics to it. So this morning as I did the household chores I decided to play the CD and this time I found out about the name of the song, which is "Danny Boy".

When I searched up the song on the Internet, I found that there was the lyric, or sung version of it. I was a little apprehensive to hear that version of it since I knew the song as an instrumental first, and had the impression that putting words on a tune might diminish the expressiveness of the song emotionally since you'd be distracted by them. To my surprise, the lyrics really complemented the vibe of the tune well, and were beautiful words on their own.

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

The summer's gone, and all the roses falling

It's you, it's you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

But when you come, and all the flowers are dying

If I am dead, as dead I well may be

You'll come and find the place where I am lying

And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me

And all my grave will warm and sweeter be

For you will bend and tell me that you love me

And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.

The song is originally based on the Irish tune "Londonderry Air", but became known as "Danny Boy" when an Englishman Frederic Weatherly wrote the lyrics to match the tune. It is essentially a love song, but the interpretations still vary with one speculating that the song is sung from the perspective of a parent seeing off their son who is leaving for war. Even though it ends with death - or ideas of death - the lyrics are unperturbed and quietly sweet, full of feelings of hope and longing.

It'll be nice to be so content and peaceful even in death; to not be afraid when the time comes for you, but to be filled with happy thoughts for others. Anyway! I decided to pick the cover done by Celtic Woman - their voices are so pure and angelic they are almost instrumental <3 As for the instrumental version, I can't find the one from the CD online, but my next favourite is the flute + harp instrumental of the song!

About Self-destruction

http://www.zerochan.net/2018156#full

"I think people, to some extent, subconsciously desire self-destruction." I murmured, gripping the pillow tighter.

"It probably isn't subconscious for everyone," she replied.

I somehow recall this particular part of the conversation I had with Dawn when she came over last week. We were lounging on my bed, chatting the hours away. I don't exactly remember how we came to talk about such a morbid subject, but it's a concept I've been chewing on in my mind recently.

Self-destruction. And I don't mean self-harm or suicidal tendencies. I'm referring to the things we insist on doing despite the knowledge that it doesn't do us good at all. I don't think everyone out there is bent on ending their lives prematurely - on the contrary people are terrified for their lives. Yet, it feels as if people enjoy dancing with death, with the delusion that they can control themselves and would never accept death's invitation to his home. Or at least, not so soon.

What comes to mind? Common things around us in the world like smoking, excessive drinking are probably at the surface, but deeper, darker things abound beyond those.

Self-destruction is probably something that comes dangerously close to many, including myself. I feel as if the consciousness that I'm able to do it comes off as a challenge for me to do so. Especially when I am wrought with restlessness and a desire to occupy myself, it becomes tempting to take up the challenge. But then what am I trying to prove or justify? To whom exactly?

I think self-destruction is best dealt with by preventing it from even introduced as an idea in the first place. It's hard at this stage now, with ideas of different conceptions of self-destruction prevalent in the media and in our environment. When we see or hear of them, we get curious and desire to "try" it thinking we could always zip back out as quickly as we got in. How very wrong indeed. Because once we've tasted the experience, we cannot forget it - the deed is done, like how Eve had taken that consequential bite from the forbidden fruit.

I think Dawn is right in saying it probably isn't subconscious anymore. It probably started off that way, but once a person becomes entrenched in acts of self-destruction, he would likely be resigned to that fate and consciously continue with it despite being aware of the consequences. He probably thinks that since he's already waist-deep in the swamp, it's too late to be saved anyway - he might as well continue.

君がくれたもの

君と夏の終わり

The end of summer with you

将来の夢

The dreams of the future

大きな希望

The big hopes we had

忘れない

I won't forget them

10年後の8月

In August 10 years from now

また出会えるのを信じて

I believe we will meet again

最高の思い出を

These are the best memories

One of my current ear candies from the anime Anohana (watch it if you haven't and prepare lots of tissue paper if you are going to), and a dedication to a friend of mine who'd be going through a difficult time :)

あの階段

http://www.zerochan.net/497213

あの階段の上に、答えが見つけられるかな。

I wonder if I can find the answer at the top of those stairs.

No Sense, No Connection

http://www.zerochan.net/1965969#full

These days whenever an utterance escapes my lips and becomes lost forever, I feel as though I'm a shade behind everything else. It's the queerest feeling, to feel as if there's a glass wall that reduces my voice to mere muffled sounds even though the person I'm talking to is peering right at me through the barrier. Whatever I say doesn't seem to be of consequence at all - words take off like distant planes and fade into nothingness like vapour. 

The more I realise this, the more I just don't feel like struggling. I end up feeling relieved when all I need to do is to listen to what others have to say and reacting to them. Yet I feel as though I've been stripped of some sort of ability, which makes me feel a little helpless and removed from the flow of events with time. I'm just a spectator, silently watching from the distance. 

My words no longer carry meaning and convey my feelings. I make no sense, and I'm unable to connect with others. I feel like two entities in one - a ventriloquist and his dummy. I am superficial, insincere, and dead. 

Even though I've somehow lost a subtle part of my ability to communicate like how I used to be able to, I try to cover it up on the surface. Smile harder, maybe laugh a bit more. Insert more reactive phrases that essentially mean nothing beyond sounds of acknowledgement. Silence? Ask questions, anything - just make sure they keep talking, and that they never stop. It feels like I'm running and running, like a hamster in its wheel.

I'm sure people can sense how I'm not connecting properly with them. The impressions you derive from conversations are sensitive and ever-changing subtly like feeling the temperature in a room. Yet because socialisation is essentially a process of negotiation where parties test the waters and tread carefully in different ways through a minefield of etiquette and sensitivity, they still continue to try and talk to me, probably thinking that they were the ones who took the wrong turn.

I wonder if this phase is temporary. 

Contradictions

http://www.zerochan.net/349169#full

I don't think my post has got anything directly to do with today's cover picture, but I really love this picture for a couple of reasons: 

First off, it's from one of my favourite animated films of all time - Spirited Away or 千と千尋の神隠し Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi - which would always have a place in my heart. Secondly, the senses of this picture somewhat resonates with the messy mix of emotions within me. There's an almost monotonous calmness with all the stagnancy and lack of life, save for Chihiro and the exhaust spewing from the chimney. Yet there's also an underlying sense of anxiety and fear about what lies ahead when facing the almost menacing and towering building.

Life - school life to be specific since it dominates the majority of my time now -  at the present feels like this to me. I suck in and hold my breath silently as I am aware of the looming deadlines and heavy workload weighing down on my spirit. I try to keep myself light-hearted and calm in the midst of all the anxiety and worries that effervesce from deep inside me. And even so, I still have to struggle from possibly wandering off too far beyond reality in order to stave the unbearable feeling of restlessness. Maybe Spirited Away does relate to this post after all, since Chihiro struggles between losing herself to the spirit world and remembering the reality she belongs to in the film.

I have a lot of support from family and (more) friends now in my life, to the point that it actually makes me feel guilty when pessimistic thoughts cloud my mind. I feel as if I don't have time or the right to be depressed when I'm very blessed in actual fact. 

While I've always been aware that I shouldn't be moping, it's the first time that I've actually felt the emotion of guilt in me. When I identified its presence in my consciousness, I was afraid. Yet I don't want to ignore it. I don't want to pass it over with forced optimism, to alter my mindset to think that the cup's half full. Of course it's the same reality regardless of the perspective I take, but these emotions are real. 

The solution to such negativity would probably be to let it all out; to not bottle it within me. However due to this guilt I feel, I become ashamed to share it with another person. I feel as if the person would reject these raw but very much existent feelings within me that IS part of who I am. This kinda reminds me of the 16 Personalities analysis for my type.

I'm not one to swear by stuff like personality analyses or horoscope readings since they may end up prescriptive rather than descriptive in its effect, but I do relate to some of it. My latest personality result is INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging), with the key word Advocate. Basically the Advocate describes one who tends to present his/herself as a culmination or patchwork of ideas and beliefs they agree with and wish to exemplify, instead of who they really are. I'd probably relate this to the times I feel as if I'm consciously putting on a show. But then again, who am I beyond such ideas and beliefs?

At this point in time there's anxiety that stems not only from work, but also from the social aspect of my life. I'm made to confront ideas of socialisation again, to consider the pros and cons of isolating myself and stuff like that. When it gets exhausting, I get exasperated and wish to return to a lifestyle that's predictable and safe. Yet it's not as if I don't enjoy the changes in my life at all.

It's infuriating when there are so many contradictions.

KUIFA + 夏祭り

Long post ahead so brace yourselves! Haha I haven't had time to properly sit down and consolidate my thoughts and memories in a post recently (and time to catch up on my animes and dramas too orz) BUT I will do it anyway :) And because two major events just passed (KUIFA and 夏祭り), I've to put them all in one post :'(

KUIFA

At Botanic Gardens

The past week was rather busy but really, really fun :) As I mentioned in the previous post, I volunteered to host a girl from Kyushu University for the week that their group of five stayed in Singapore. I was nervous and all jittery as I waited at the arrival hall in Changi with the other JSS peeps - probably because I was already worrying about how I'd look after my buddy for the next 6 days. But all that anxiety was unnecessary because Mayuko, my buddy, and the other KUIFA members were all really friendly.

From my LINE chat, I expected Mayuko to speak English more since she did type in English in our conversations before we met. However I found myself using Japanese all the time, which was a little nerve-wrecking at first since I wouldn't know when I'd say something weird. I became a lot more confident in speaking when my friends and Mayuko assured me my Japanese was rather decent - and Mayuko would happily teach me some vocabulary whenever I asked her what something was called in Japanese. The funny thing was that during the course of their stay, I was speaking Japanese so much that whenever I talked to my parents some Japanese would inevitably slip out LOL. I don't know if that counts as "occupational" hazard.

There were 3 guys and 2 girls in total - from the left: Masaki, Ritsuki, Danny, Mayuko and Ayaka.

Masaki's a really lively and enthusiatic person, and he was always encouraging us to speak to him in English just so he could learn more new words. He was also really knowledgeable about Singapore history and economy, and played Shougi (kinda reminds me of Shikamaru albeit less of the lazy mendokusai thing going on).

Ritsuki is slightly shyer but he was really nice and smiled a lot. I'd always ask him if he's tired because he spends idle times dozing off really easily LOL.

Danny is the American chap who's really outspoken and always making things lively for everyone. He's doing his Masters in Kyushu University so he's older than probably all of us. He's always getting into little messes here and there because the first day he arrived in Singapore he misplaced a bag in the airport. He also "lost" his camera at the Night Safari which got us (and the NS staff) in a frenzy until he realised it was in his bag all along HAHA.

Mayuko my buddy is such a darling and I'll never forget the memories we have together. We had a lot to talk about - from Japanese artistes we like and the current dramas (she watches both dramas I blogged about the post before!!!) to our families etc. We took selfies everyday too and had our own special hi-five :3

Ayaka is quite quiet as well but she's really sweet. I didn't get to talk much to her besides occasionally enquiring if all's okay and whether she'd like to try something. However according to Eileen, she's in a relationship and is doing her best in it :)

At Chinatown forming the word 'CHINA'!

Dozing off on the train

Throughout the course of their stay, we did A LOT of walking. I felt pretty bad for them because they were visibly tired and they kept stretching their legs to ease the strain on them. However thanks to all the walking I think I did lose about a kilogram HAHAHA.

Dinner with the family

There was a night designated on the fourth day for us local buddies to take them to dinner with our families. While the other buddies ate out with them, I wanted Mayuko to try home-cooked food (by my awesome Mom). Stacey came home to join us as well that night to meet Mayuko! When Mayuko and I entered the front door, Stacey immediately leapt up from the sofa and said "Hajimemashite" in the funniest, stiffest, most robotic way I've ever heard in my life - and all of us couldn't stop laughing at my bewildered sister who genuinely thought she pronounced it right!

Mom very lovingly made fried hokkien noodles and grilled chicken wings, which Mayuko thoroughly enjoyed (she later told me it was the best dish she ate throughout her whole stay here). In another funny moment my mom was trying to encourage Mayuko to eat more prawns but she said "hebi" (which actually IS prawn in Hokkien) with the intention of saying "ebi". The thing is, "hebi" is actually snake in Japanese :')

Walking the streets of Little India

Trying the King of Fruits

We let the Japanese buddies try our most revered fruit - the durian! Danny already tried it before during his travels, but the rest haven't. The verdict was that it tasted really weird to them so in the end KaiFu, Brandon and Eileen finished it all up with pleasure.

Farewell at the airport

Last picture before seeing off Mayuko

I'm sorry I didn't write everything out except the memorable moments (all of them are)! As we sent them off, I was really sad because in that one week I had already gotten so used to seeing them everyday, living with Mayuko etc. Hopefully if I go over next summer I'll get to meet all of them again!

夏祭り

Yukata girls!

I'm not in the picture here (probably goofing off somewhere) but this picture taken by Renyue makes for a good and fitting cover picture.

This year's my second 夏祭り Natsu Matsuri, which means Summer Festival. Since I came late last year and didn't get to experience much of the festival besides some food and the bon odori dance, I was pretty determined to get the full experience this time round. I went to the festival with a JSS senpai Wen Kai, and we queued for about an hour just to be able to rent yukatas and get dressed in them!

Wen Kai probably wasn't the most prepared for yukata-wearing, because he wore jeans and covered shoes - so the end result was that all was well until you looked down and saw his jeans peeping from under the hem of his yukata - especially since he measures nearly 1.9 metres :') But the experience is really worth it when you join everyone else to dress for the festival and it adds to the whole festive mood. It was chaotic in the changing room - after I was passed my yukata, a lady directed me to another lady who helped dress me in the midst of other girls and assistants dressing up. 

Since they had to secure the yukata firmly, they pretty much squeezed the air out of me as they tied my obi. I felt like I couldn't really eat a lot because of that LOL. I kindly gave up my remaining half of the ramen that I bought to Huan Ran who was unsatisfied with some overpriced onigiri he ate earlier on. It was really hot and I was wearing two layers since I wore the yukata over my clothes. It was especially difficult to walk too since the skirt of the yukata restricts the distance you can stretch your legs out - staircases were my enemies for that night. But oh, the sacrifices we make just to look graceful in a yukata :')

I had a great time taking lots of photos with the other JSS peeps who were there. We all went down to the field to dance to the bon odori and it was a blast! At that point of time when we all gathered for a group photo (which no one has uploaded yet at this point T_T) I felt really grateful for the people I met in JSS. I thought I'd just continue being isolated and closed off in university, but because of them I'm making so many new memories to keep. So thank you :) 

Aaaand here's a flood of selfies for you to get tired of looking at my face :D The quality of the photos seem to diminish later and that's probably because I ran out of strength to hold up my phone properly after bon odori.

With Weiling, Renyue, Kah Hui and Melvyn + his empty bowl of noodles

With Wenkai (not featuring the out of place jeans and shoes haha)

With Renyue who always has such great sense and style!

With Weiling who's always saving my life in various matters <3

With Kah Hui, the senpai I respect the most! And she's the new president of JSS too!!

With Andy who was helping out at the yukata dressing for men - we were at natsumatsuri together a year ago!

With Teresa who's always a ball of energy when combined with Zehui!

With Cindy who always fusses over me and gives me a lot of love! <3

With Shirlyn who's also always lively and makes me laugh all the time!

With Zehui, the other half of the explosive combi with Teresa! And also a fellow Hey! Say! JUMP fan girl <3

With the cute Fangyi whom I've known since we were in the same OG in last year's camp!

With the pretty and really feminine Pamela with her ethereal style <3

With the totally adorable Vivian who's always great fun to be around!

3/7 of our OG from last year's camp - myself, Fangyi and Huanran!

It was pretty tiring and my yukata was kinda falling apart after jumping so much at the bon odori :') But nevertheless it was awesome and I enjoyed myself so much. I'm already looking forward to the next 夏祭り next year :D

Here ends my long post which I tried to summarize >< I doubt I'd have a lot of time to post now that school is already charging full steam ahead. But the memories and fun I had would be sufficient for me to keep spirited when the times get tough!

Summer Dramas

https://w-dog.net/wallpaper/japan-sakura-spring-beautiful-nature-wallpapers-japan-landscape-morning-japanese-garden-cherry-blossoms-lake-water-lilies-tree-flower-spring-bridge-lotus/id/300057/

I wonder if there's a house in real life that looks like the lovely one in the picture above... It's so pretty and homely :) Anyway have you noticed that my blog looks different now? I just felt like having a change somehow, and used my blog as a medium to do so! I like designs incorporating the colours and patterns of nature, hence the wood background and natural colour scheme.

It's one week to the start of a new academic year at NUS again, and I'm not ready. But who truly is, in most situations? We usually just brace ourselves for the start of something and deal with it when we're there, like most other things. There are things that I'm looking forward to though, like meeting old friends and course mates again, and hosting exchange students from Kyushu University!

I signed up for a homestay programme (KUIFA) with the JSS, and will be having a student stay over at my home for close to a week, during week 2 of the semester! I'm kinda nervous, because I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to communicate with her well with my limited command of Japanese. However, I'm sure we'd have a blast anyhow. Her name's Inada Mayuko, and she's a first year Pharmacy student. Since we have a vacant room after Stacey got married and moved out, I figured my family and I could try our hand at hosting a guest at our house :)

Recently I've been into a couple of ongoing summer dramas, namely 好きな人がいること Suki Na Hito Ga Iru Koto (A Girl and Three Sweethearts) and 時をかける少女 Toki Wo Kakeru Shoujo (The Girl Who Leapt Through Time), in addition to the summer animes I'm following such as Orange オレンジ. I'm beginning to like summer a lot more now - it's a season full of vibrancy, rejuvenation and youth - a wonderful respite for my withering soul (pfft haha). And these dramas capture the senses and nuances of summer so well that I'm drawn to them. They're still ongoing, with the former at 4 episodes and the latter at 3. Yet even so, I feel like I must write about how exciting they are!

Suki Na Hito Iru Koto, at a general glance, seems like a drama adaptation from an otome game (dating sim game for cliched romance-deprived females like me) with three potential love interests to one main character. To be honest, that got me excited and interested in checking out the drama because who doesn't like an otome plot! Only me? Okay :( 

Mirei Kiritani, who has become a lot more popular lately, plays Sakurai Misaki, a patisserie who meets an old crush from high school by chance and agrees to live with him and work at his seaside restaurant. Little did she know that she'd also be living with her crush's two younger brothers in the same house. Which of the three Shibasaki brothers would Misaki experience her summer love with? (From anti-clockwise) Chiaki, the kind and gentlemanly high school crush? Kanata, the blunt but talented young cook? Or Touma, the adorable but flirty youngest brother? 

While Mirei Kiritani is a great actress with various notable roles in other dramas and movies, I didn't really like her character in this drama. The exciting part is really (and I shamelessly confess) the interactions between her character and the three ikemen (handsome) brothers. I mean you have Miura Shohei, who was named Japan's Ideal Boyfriend, playing Chiaki! The beautiful and scenic seaside setting of the drama in Shonan is a bonus as well, since I'm a sucker for picturesque locations.

Now this is a drama that I would highly recommend. Toki Wo Kakeru Shoujo is actually a 2016 drama adaptation of a well-known novel of the same title, which has been famously adapted into animated films, live action movies etc. As the title suggests, it's part sci-fi with ideas of time travel forming the foundation of the show. 

Yoshiyama Mihane is a lively, tomboyish girl played by Kuroshima Yuina (she's only 19 and she acts so well!?), who gains the ability to leap through time to various moments whenever she wills herself to. This happened after she fainted in the school's science lab upon coming across some chemical that smells like lavender. The chemical is actually a time-leaping inducing drug that Fukamachi Shohei, a guy from the future, attempted to make after he lost his original vial of drug which allows him to get home to the 22nd century. Shohei decides to attend school with Mihane and her childhood friend Asakura Goro while he makes the drug again, brainwashing them with future technology into believing he's also their childhood friend. The drama follows Mihane's various decisions to time leap and her struggles in doing so, along with a heart-wrenching love triangle with Shohei and Goro.

You can't help but love Mihane's adorable and lively character through this drama! This drama would cause you to experience so many emotions - satisfaction from witnessing the friendship among the three, worry as you watch Mihane make her decisions and disappointment when she doesn't reciprocate Goro's feelings for her! >< 

The theme song for the drama is also my current earcandy - 恋をしらない君へ Koi wo Shiranai Kimi e (trans.: To you, who doesn't know love) sung by a Johnny's idol group, NEWS. I won't put up the whole song - just the ending bit where you can see the characters, with Mihane and Goro (<3) running to class and Shohei in class waiting for Mihane. Oh the feels!

Do check out the dramas if you're interested :P

I've begun to start running again (don't ask me why I didn't start earlier during the summer break ><) after I bought new running shoes!

I don't actually like pink (and this isn't really pink, it's kinda like the same shade of purple as Barney the dinosaur), but somehow I really liked this pair when I saw them! PLUS THEY WERE ON SALE AT 60% OFF so of course the inner bargain auntie in me gave her approval. I told Iggy that I started running, and he said he'd bet one week - one week before I utterly fail and give up altogether. How encouraging! :/ Of course, when people say stuff like that it just spurs you to want to prove them wrong - which is actually awesome. But while I might be able to pull it off for more than a week, two weeks is a different matter altogether huh (facepalm).

orange オレンジ

http://www.zerochan.net/1986399

I just discovered this title yesterday night, and I just had to write a post on it...どうしても!

The manga, written and illustrated by Takano Ichigo, consists of just 5 volumes - and that is enough to take your heart on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Orange was serialized from 2012 to 2015, followed by a live action adaptation in December 2015 starring the popular actor Yamazaki Kento, and finally an anime adaption that aired its first episode on July 4th (my birthday y'all!!) this year.

I chanced upon it as I was looking at the list of ongoing anime series on the site I usually watch my anime and was hooked from the first episode. The detailed, realistic art of the anime adaptation depicting the mountain city of Matsumoto is reminiscent of the style of Makoto Shinkai (of the 5 Centimeters Per Second fame).

Matsumoto really exists, in case you're wondering - it's situated in Nagano Prefecture on the main Honshu Island of Japan. And nope, it's not the first time the setting of an anime is based on an actual site. In fact, the fame of such anime titles help to boost tourism in these places that inspired these anime, contributing to the growing popularity of pop-culture tourism. I myself have a bucket list of places in Japan I want to visit because of the animes that were inspired by them - Yuwaku Hot Spring in Kanazawa, Ishikawa (from Hanasaku Iroha), Hitoyoshi City in Kumamoto Prefecture (from Natsume Yuujinchou) - just to name a couple. And もちろん, Matsumoto is a new addition to this bucket list!

Back to Orange - (possible spoilers ahead!)

The storyline of Orange is played out in two timelines that alternate at certain points - one of the "past", and one of the "future".

The "future" follows five friends - Naho, Suwa, Takako, Azusa and Hagita - who meet together 10 years after they graduated from high school. The reason for their gathering - to pay respects to their friend Naruse Kakeru, who passed away 10 years ago. As they dig up a time capsule the six of them buried 10 years ago and visit Kakeru's grandmother, they find out that Kakeru's death was not caused by an accident, but by committing suicide.

In the "past", 16 year-old Takamiya Naho finds a letter addressed to her by her own self from 10 years in the future. She initially thinks that the letter is a prank, but comes to realise that the contents of the letter is true when the letter predicts events like Kakeru's transfer to her school and other happenings. As she reads on further, she finds requests from her future self - to not make the same decisions she would regret, and to save Kakeru.

What really struck a chord in me was the internal conflicts faced by the main character Naho. She is given foresight into what would happen and the regrets she would have as a result of the decisions she makes by her future self, yet she still struggles with her decisions at the moment. In one scene, she gets frustrated and thinks about how easy it would be for her future self to tell her what to do, since "she" isn't the one who has to go through the difficulty. I think about the many things I'd write to my past self - the things I'd implore me to do and not regret - and wonder if I would actually have the resolve to right the wrongs of the past at those moments in time.

Currently there's only four episodes out in the still-ongoing series, but I couldn't wait and finished up the manga in a few hours (thankfully and sadly it's only five volumes). The plot progression is really satisfying, and not filled with plot cliches. Even though I know the whole story and how it ends now, I'm still anticipating the next episode, and the next... and the next...

Anyway, here's the PV of the anime adaptation! It has no captions so I took some time to translate Naho's voiceover to the best of my limited Japanese language abilities :')

In the present, 10 years into the future, Kakeru is not here with us.

I'm writing this letter, so that the 16 year-old me won't regret the things I am regretting.

If only at that place, at that time, at that moment...

If only I had noticed the most precious thing...

The me living 10 years in the past,

From here on there is a lot of happiness and bliss waiting in store for you.

I ask of you, please notice that happiness...

I hope you will not get rid of that happiness.

Aaaand the live action PV which almost made me tear again even though I've already watched the movie :')