Black and White

The contrast between the two aren't stark, yet they aren't fuzzy. It's just plain. Plain black and white.

It's not compulsive or comfortable - it's straightforward and simple.

Sometimes I wish life could be that way, without it's hassles and trifles, kinks and knots. I often read about utopian societies, like in The Giver (the movie's coming out soon!), and sometimes wish that life could be organized that way. There would be no fear of wrong choices - there would hardly ever be choices even. There would be safety and contentment in the classy simplicity offered. There would be no pain, or no knowledge of pain even if there was.

Yet people want more out of life, and I understand that too. They develop healthy appetites for the new and unknown, the colourful and unpredictable, the ups and downs, gaining breathless satisfaction and developing yet another voracious appetite for more adventure and experiment.

But I'm so tired of having to make choices and fear for the consequence behind the door I choose.

I'm sick of worrying about what to do and not to do because everything and anything can be done - the possibilities countless, the risks endless.

As tragic and cruel as it sounds, a predetermined path sometimes seems more inviting than an unpredictable one. I could wake up each morning without that uneasy lurch in my gut from being already overwhelmed by the day that lies ahead as I regain my senses. I could go about my activities without having to unnecessarily wonder if my actions convey the wrong message and illicit some juicy unfavourable gossip behind my back. I could go to bed without another fuck given worrying about the time I lost, and what lies in future for me.

The pain from all the complexity and colour blaring in your face leaves me so disorientated and demoralized. I like the peaceful feeling I get from looking at black and white images, defining timeless features, showing simple gradients and still leaving some pockets and spaces of white for some rest.

I want my life to be as simple and content as could be to a great extent, though I still have a taste for the unique and different.

For now, at least.

There would probably come a time when I decide otherwise and delve into the colours instead.

Anw! Here's one of Foxes latest song that I like! You may recognise Foxes from Zedd's Clarity - I love most of her songs like Echo and White Coats!

Let Go For Tonight

by Foxes



Fell from the sky
We fell from the sky and started walking
Leavin' our footprints on the ground

It might be a prayer
Or maybe a piece of conversation
Wherever we go we make a sound

So I call your name, the only thing I know
Is I need you here, will you be gone forever?
All that I know, all that I know is we're here tonight
Turn off the lights

Let go for tonight baby
Let love in your life and be shown (turn off the lights)
Let go for tonight baby, who needs sleep tonight?
I need to let go, let go
Let go, let go, turn off the lights
Let love in your life baby, who needs sleep tonight?

I wanna drive
I wanna drive into the open
Lookin' for reasons I can't find

So I call your name, the only thing I know
Is I need you here, will you be gone forever?
All that I know, all that I know is we're here tonight
Turn off the lights

Let go for tonight baby
Let love in your life and be shown (turn off the lights)
Let go for tonight baby, who needs sleep tonight?
I need to let go, let go
Let go, let go, turn off the lights
Let love in your life baby, who needs sleep tonight?

I need to let go, let go
Let go, let go
I need to let go, let go
Before we're gone, gone, gone

So I call your name, the only thing I know
Is I need you here, will you be gone forever?
All that I know, all that I know
Is I need you here, will you be gone forever?

What do you want?
I need you here, will you be gone forever?
All that I know, all that I know
Is we're here tonight
Turn off the lights

Let go for tonight baby
Let love in your life and be shown (turn off the lights)
Let go for tonight baby, who needs sleep tonight?
I need to let go, let go
Let go, let go, turn off the lights
Let love in your life baby, who needs sleep tonight?

I need to let go, let go
Let go, let go
I need to let go, let go

Fell from the sky
We fell from the sky and started walking
Leavin' our footprints on the ground

Last March Camp + FOODFOODFOOD

MARCH CAMP IS OVERRRRRR YAYYYYY

but awwws it was fun too, all thanks to Phin, the other EXCOs, gamemasters and the sporting J1s! I'm kinda lazy to write too much about the camp so I'm just gonna dump a few selfies in here haha.

UNIVOX DURING THE DAY GAMES!

UNIVOX AFTER CAMP!

 UNIVOX J1 GIRLSSS

Burden Bernard the President (Trying to make his eyes bigger but to no avail)

 



 

SUSHIIIIIIIIII

 

 

Sarah and Anisah!!!

 

 

Gamemasters for one of the night games with Queen Juliana + Ryan joining in for a selfie

 

BP-VJ GIRLS!!! Vernice, Yeexin, yours truly and Yingliao! So glad ya'll joined Guitar :')

 

The new Guitar tee looks awesome too doesn't it!!! Boston designed the front while I did the back...I realised I don't have a pic of the back hurhurhur...

 

 

The night before camp, my sister suggested I make dinner cos' she was craving the pasta I made for her and dad the other night when mom was away. Mom decided to help too and make a meat dish while I made the pasta and appetiser!

 

Appetiser: Caprese (Mozarella cheese + tomatoes) I learnt this during my working stint in the kitchen at Cacio e Pepe!

Mom's grilled shabu-shabu with salad!

Pasta: Tagliatelle with pesto sauce, diced tomatoes and mushrooms!



 

Dinner is served!

I love cooking, esp Italian dishes. Pasta is my favourite food and I could eat it forever if I had to eat only one food in my life :DDDD

Hahaha sorry I just wanted to flaunt the food I made cos they look so good (shameless much!) AND THEY TASTE GOOD TOO AHAHAHA



A Day with the Guitar peeps

So today (FULL DAYYYYYYY! Thank you seniors for this holiday *grateful*) i spent time with some of the guitar people at Gardens by the Bay!:)

It was so fun, just sitting around like hobos, waving to tourists driving by in tour buggies, eating junk food, singing along as someone played the guitar (a given, since we're guitar ensemble!), playing frisbee and truth or dare. I'm so thankful we had plenty of juniors who turned up. I really want the senior and junior ensemble to bond and be really close, because my batch and the batch before weren't and that is kinda sad.

I tell my juniors: "Remember to bond with your juniors next year okay!"
I believe it's a cycle - the 2012 batch were really close to their own seniors in the 2011 batch, but they aren't close to us. Our juniors now are close to us, but i fear that like our seniors, they'd neglect the poor 2015 batch. A cycle. A caged dynamic. (Uh oh time to move on before i delve into Waterland and Godot)

Adorbs Queen "Jubes" Juliana!

And the game of frisbee starts

Yenwen looks like she's being bullied here but she still looks so adorable <3

Pardon my burden finger at the corner hehs. These lazy people who initially didn't wanna play frisbee!

Squeezing for a shot! Sorry Janice your half-open eyes still looks good :D

Frowning cos WHAT IS ANISAH DOING THERE. Haha she was prepping the fish-eye lenses

Some awesome photography featuring Anisah's legs

Lying down under a big fake tree like 21st century hipster hobos

I swear my juniors are so adorable. 

Haha i had fun, but i was sad to see some of the group leave halfway for their own individual programmes. The remaining few of us went to dinner (Ryan, Thanh, Bach, Christine, Janice, Hanny and me!) at Bishan Subway. Bishan cos they were so nice to eat where it was convenient for me to get home from!

I hope we have more of such outings in future with MORE JUNIORS (MORE ADORBS)!

Also, today i saw the photo that i mentioned i would never post in the last blog entry. Sigh. I still get mixed feelings. Inside i'm fangirling but i also feel kinda sad. I'M OVER IT.If i'm not over it i will get over it soon. I can't help but feel like a girl who got rejected but i'm not, because nothing even happened. 

In my head the song i have for this is the one that Park Shin Hye's character sung after she got rejected by Jung Yong Hwa - I Will Forget You.

Answering to No Questions

Hurroooo

It's been a horribly busy week with CT1 preps and all... but I'm posting a post because I need to get some stuff off my head and the moveeee onnnnnn...

Saturday's 30le X Country run was okay I guess, tho I still can't run for long distances cos I lack stamina URGH. But I enjoyed the atmosphere which was really happening and fun, plus I had a great time with my friends!

 

13A15 before the run! Have to credit Patrick for his good photog skills:)

One of the most important people in my life now - Dawn!<3

 

 

     

 My South Korea trip buddy Nicoleeeeee

Ally my cool angmoh chick with a boat hehs

 

 U3 girls Youshie Tifanehneh and yours truly! Reliving OG days :)

 We are shameless geese who take pictures even while waiting to run at the starting line

And we take pictures of shoes when we get sick of faces

 <3

 

Hung out with some guitar peeps after the run to go eat and study at Changi Airport! (Missing Bernard here cos he went back to the hostel to bathe)

 

 

So yep X Country's pretty fun :)

 

Today was the release of the A Level results and the seniors did extremely well - I'm getting so so so worried for my own A Levels now and all the more I'm convinced im not going for the Guitar Japan trip in June even though I really want to...but I'm not a very smart lass so I shall have to forgo the trip :(

I got back my own MT results too... I got a B! I'm not sad but I'm not extremely happy too because I didn't expect any particular results after the paper. I was just concerned about getting Chinese out of my life for good hahahaha

 

And today my guitar mates got me to take a pic with a senior whom I admired a lot last year which was terribly awkward because I've never actually spoken to him - it's like your distant eyecandy thingum. I'm terribly shy omg and I badly wanted to run away and hide but somehow my trusty guitar mates managed to get me to take the pic...so...

 

AWKWARD.

 

Nah I don't have a pic but I must say I look terrible in it. So even if I did have one I wouldn't dare to post it cos then it'd be weird for the senior (not like he'll ever see this but yknow what I mean...I think?) and I am much too embarrassed even now to look at it.

 

I must confess that I am still easily struck just by seeing him cos of his humongous eyes but I really think now's the time to stop, and move on for good. I highly suspect he knows (though I don't wish to to know how) and he's nice enough to treat me in a friendly manner...but the sensitive and sceptical side of me feels so pitiful and pathetic that I long to just get rid of the past and pretend nothing happened. Easier said than done but it can still be done. It can.

 

I chatted with him for a while, and while probably to observers it may seem like a happy occasion cos I finally (after a long while of shillying shallying) get to converse with him comfortably and it probably seems like a start to getting to know him better, to me it marks the closure of a long time asking "What if" and "I wished".

 

I know without even asking or confessing that most likely my feelings aren't reciprocated the same way and even though I feel kinda sad, I am definitely relieved.

 

 

 

Not related to my predicament now haha but I just felt like I probably understand how Shaoran feels. But ultimately he still ends up with Sakura so what the hell.

 

Anw life goes on, and life isn't a show where the plot mostly goes well according to plan. Even though I never asked, and you never answered, I think I already know the answer.:)