It's been a horribly busy week with CT1 preps and all... but I'm posting a post because I need to get some stuff off my head and the moveeee onnnnnn...
Saturday's 30le X Country run was okay I guess, tho I still can't run for long distances cos I lack stamina URGH. But I enjoyed the atmosphere which was really happening and fun, plus I had a great time with my friends!
13A15 before the run! Have to credit Patrick for his good photog skills:)
One of the most important people in my life now - Dawn!<3
My South Korea trip buddy Nicoleeeeee
Ally my cool angmoh chick with a boat hehs
U3 girls Youshie Tifanehneh and yours truly! Reliving OG days :)
We are shameless geese who take pictures even while waiting to run at the starting line
And we take pictures of shoes when we get sick of faces
<3
Hung out with some guitar peeps after the run to go eat and study at Changi Airport! (Missing Bernard here cos he went back to the hostel to bathe)
So yep X Country's pretty fun :)
Today was the release of the A Level results and the seniors did extremely well - I'm getting so so so worried for my own A Levels now and all the more I'm convinced im not going for the Guitar Japan trip in June even though I really want to...but I'm not a very smart lass so I shall have to forgo the trip :(
I got back my own MT results too... I got a B! I'm not sad but I'm not extremely happy too because I didn't expect any particular results after the paper. I was just concerned about getting Chinese out of my life for good hahahaha
And today my guitar mates got me to take a pic with a senior whom I admired a lot last year which was terribly awkward because I've never actually spoken to him - it's like your distant eyecandy thingum. I'm terribly shy omg and I badly wanted to run away and hide but somehow my trusty guitar mates managed to get me to take the pic...so...
AWKWARD.
Nah I don't have a pic but I must say I look terrible in it. So even if I did have one I wouldn't dare to post it cos then it'd be weird for the senior (not like he'll ever see this but yknow what I mean...I think?) and I am much too embarrassed even now to look at it.
I must confess that I am still easily struck just by seeing him cos of his humongous eyes but I really think now's the time to stop, and move on for good. I highly suspect he knows (though I don't wish to to know how) and he's nice enough to treat me in a friendly manner...but the sensitive and sceptical side of me feels so pitiful and pathetic that I long to just get rid of the past and pretend nothing happened. Easier said than done but it can still be done. It can.
I chatted with him for a while, and while probably to observers it may seem like a happy occasion cos I finally (after a long while of shillying shallying) get to converse with him comfortably and it probably seems like a start to getting to know him better, to me it marks the closure of a long time asking "What if" and "I wished".
I know without even asking or confessing that most likely my feelings aren't reciprocated the same way and even though I feel kinda sad, I am definitely relieved.
Not related to my predicament now haha but I just felt like I probably understand how Shaoran feels. But ultimately he still ends up with Sakura so what the hell.
Anw life goes on, and life isn't a show where the plot mostly goes well according to plan. Even though I never asked, and you never answered, I think I already know the answer.:)
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