The righteous side of me constantly asserts the pacifist in me, desperately want to quell all the fruitless arguments and poisonous sentiments from both sides. I probably saw hope in their salvation.
Yet there exists the underlying ugly, vengeful part of me that has been infected by all the miasma after such a long exposure. It's so subtle, yet it slowly but surely devours me from within. Like an apple that conceals its rotting core.
And I start to consider how I'd exact my revenge in the most subtle way possible which would indirectly yet painfully reflect where they have gone wrong. That this is the very consequence you will suffer. This is what you made me to be.
But when I imagine that revenge, it isn't sweet at all. There is nothing to be gained and I might lose every possibility of happiness and no way to redeem myself.
Some days I can barely withstand the tension both around and within me.
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