Stress Relievers

I'm so proud of this photo :))) It's pretty nice, no? I took this earlier this year at East Coast Park while doing a recee for places to take photos for the Perfect Fifth 2014 publicity stuff. Of course I edited the photo a lil' to make the grayscale contrasts clearer and less fuzzy. I love how the ships vary in degree of colour density, giving the ships at the very back a sort of foggy effect - like Silent Hill! The solitary plane gives the picture a sort of lonely, melancholic effect too.

At the moment, life is, as with many other JC2 students going through the same excruciating process, in a whirl. Panic, terror, desperation and worry that overwhelms you as the ultimate D-day looms near just simply renders you defenseless and confused, not knowing exactly what to do.

But I like to revel in bits and pieces of daily mental and emotional indulgence to relief myself from stress. I generally consider myself a good controller of my own expression of feelings and all because my threshold for pain and suffering is pretty deep. "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." Haruki Murakami, one of my favourite authors, said this. So even while I'm pretty screwed up inside, I tend not to show so easily.
However in the times when I do appear moody and irritated, it means I'm really really having it bad inside. I may look like I have a mini dark cloud over my head, but trust me inside I have a Cat 4 hurricane just raging inside.

My source of stress is never directly from tangible sources like work and results (though I still get disappointed when I do badly), but mostly from thoughts about emotional security, trust, existence etc. I'm pretty much of a loner-type, where I mostly enjoy doing things alone (and hence the secret ambition I mentioned in the last post)even though to some friends who don't know me that well I seem like an extrovert, because I go crazy spewing rubbish in the heat of excitement.

Back to the topic at hand - yeah I'm a loner type, so there's always plenty of alone times when I just think. Think. and THINK. About life, about religion, about meaning, about love, about almost everything. And the more I think, especially when concerned with human relationships, the more I get all insecure and paranoid as I conjure up imaginations that scare me. And that's my source of stress mainly.

When I think like this outside, it just leaks through my pores as pure moodiness. At home, if I'm too overwhelmed and if I get ruffled up doing chores at the same time, I break down into some angry-crying which is relieving after all that's been bothering me is purged through my tears and distracted by my stinging eyes.

How I relieve my stress is pretty effective and helps me to keep calm for most of the time. Sleep is first and foremost on the list, but not a strong priority these days when I need the time to mug. The bed is the best invention ever. Funny videos, good shows and really awesome animes are next on the list. I recently found this Youtuber called Anna Akana and I love her videos so much! They are so funny even though I don't agree with some of her perception on morals like how weed is okay and all etc. I recommended one of her videos to one of my classmates who just had a break up recently because I found it quite empowering and relatable having gone through a break up before too.

Oh and I'll reveal another ambition of mine - wait for it - short film and music videos! I really wanna make my own videos, but I'm probably not comfortable taking a video of myself talking (and I'll probably give up when I see my own pathetic face myself). The stuff i write on my blog is kinda like the written form of how I would wanna talk on videos, like a vlog! I like talking (and i also consider myself a good speaker) even though I don't really derive alot of joy from communication (there is a difference between the two). I talk to myself and to Skippy when I'm alone at home (freaky, yes). In fact I wanna try to be a radio deejay too :) Films and music videos are interesting too, like those on Wong Fu Productions!

Another great reliever of stress is singing. I don't sing excellently, but I sing well enough to please my ears  and not harm others' ears. Especially when I'm alone at home. I find instrumentals of songs, play it loud on the PC and just karaoke to my heart's content. Sometimes I even record myself singing on my Garageband app and shamelessly listen to my own singing afterwards (pffffft HAHAHAHA). Weekend stress relievers include cooking. Food is such an awesome thing. Great food outside is usually costly - so why not make your own and add your own flavour to it? Of course I still love eating good food outside because some of these good food places have great ambience and atmosphere that seem to make the food tastier.

And lastly, writing! If you're like me and can't hold long conversations with people through which you relieve stress, writing is good. It's like talking - to no one and everyone. It gets you thinking too. And the best part is that one day in the future when you're bored, you can read your posts again and relive the memories easily.

Stress happens to everyone, but it's important to know how YOU deal with it. Pain is inevitable, and suffering is optional. Don't let that stress stay for too long, and even if it's a perpetual stress (like the A Levels preps), you should at least loosen every once in a while. Why make yourself suffer when you can feel better, even for a while?