It's been more than a year since I last posted here! I don't think there was much readership for this to begin with, and I never intended it for a specific audience either - I just wanted a platform to vent thoughts and ideas on. So why the sudden comeback, Sam?
Well I never completely forgot this blog - was only lazy to write on this when I already had a physical diary which I still write in quite frequently. I often came back here to start up a draft only to discard it since I had nothing noteworthy to write. But as of late there have been new experiences in my life, and when I read back on the latest post I realized just how much has changed over the span of one year. I thought the year passed quite quickly, but seeing how much difference there is between the me then and the me now, the time passed doesn't feel as inconsequential as it seems to be.
Funny how I'm naming my homecoming post as such, since the last post which is slightly over a year ago was when I was still very much single and exasperated with the constant pressure around me to date and be in a relationship. And right now - you guessed it (well not quite I think the title is pretty self-explanatory) - I'm in a relationship!
And it's pretty different from the kind of ordinary relationship I always expected I'd have. I never would have imagined being in a long-distance relationship with an Australian guy that I just met in person once in Japan one fateful night during my field studies trip there last year. To me (and to most people I would imagine), that's a huge leap from being prepared to never being in a relationship to ending up in one that requires probably more effort and work to maintain as compared to most romantic relationships people have. It really just goes to show that life can be so unpredictable, and yes, you can have ideal types and stuff like that but all of that just flies out of the window once you do actually meet someone that you can just simply click with.
So as briefly as I can on how Cam and I met and ended up in an LDR:
Last year in May I went on a JS field studies trip to Kyushu with a small group from NUS, and as part of the itinerary we visited Amakusa which is a small island off Kyushu. Prof Chris arranged with Erin, a JET based there, to organize a barbecue one of the nights we were there. Cam was one of the other JETs invited to join as well. He accompanied our group to go see the fireflies while the barbecue was being set up (I later found out he was volunteered by the other JETs to chaperone us haha) and we started talking from there and through the rest of the night at the barbecue. I had so much fun talking to him since we had a lot in common in terms of interests and views.
I saw him again the next day at some onsen festival we took part in, but we didn't get to exchange contacts before I flew back to Fukuoka and then back to Singapore. I really wanted to talk to this guy again - so I tracked him down on Facebook (with my stalking skills from JC days hunting down senpai ;) ) through my Prof's friend list and added him there. Turns out he was also trying to search for me on Facebook, but couldn't find me (he forgot my name :/ ) so he added my Prof in hopes that I can find him instead. We chatted and skyped in the next few months, and it was going really well though I wasn't sure if he was interested in me romantically until he suddenly asked me into an LDR on Dec 7 (what a way to find out, right?), which I agreed to the next day after giving some thought to it.
It's been slightly over 6 months since then, and I think we've both worked well at making this relationship work despite the difficulties of physical proximity and juggling our work/school lives so far. The Internet is really helpful in helping us maintain constant communication, but even so it's important for us to arrange trips to meet each other. So far he's flown over here twice to see me - once in January for 5 days and recently this month for about 12 days.
The first time he came over we were still warming up to each other in person, since it actually is quite different from spending time together online even with Skype. We spent most of the 5 days going around Singapore doing the touristy stuff too, so we didn't really have much quality time in my opinion. The most recent visit however, I felt a lot more attached to him - evidently so since I was having a much harder time coming to terms with him flying off again, forming a large soaked patch on the left side of his shirt with tears (and maybe even a lil snot hehe) the night before he flew back to Japan.
I was just overwhelmed with thoughts about how tough it is to not be able to have him by my side as and when I want. In a regular ordinary relationship between a couple in the same location, they get to see each other pretty easily and frequently for a few hours in a day perhaps. Whereas in my case, I only get to see Cam in person in the week or so we travel to each other, though we both get to spend most if not all of the hours crammed within that duration together. I don't know which is a better arrangement, but I can definitely tell you that it makes it even harder to have someone go for a few months after practically living with you for about 12 days. Still, I wouldn't have it any other way now, since this is just how we are in this long distance relationship, and we can only both try our best to make this work.
What I really like about my boyfriend besides the fact that we have so much in common such as our interest in Japan, games, anime, art, music, cooking etc etc is that he really looks out so much for me and makes me feel protected with his calm and steady demeanour, and I'm able to just lower my guard around him and be myself. I laugh a lot around him and most people, but in front of him I cry and show emotions I usually hide from others a lot more. I feel like I'm imposing on him and can't really comfort him as much as he does for me, but he always assures me that he's willing to take on my feelings and that I'm doing a lot for him as well. We communicate really well with each other, and I really want things to stay that way for a long time. There're still more obstacles and things we need to face and overcome, such as religion, career, future plans etc and I don't think it will ever get easier on the whole, but I've got him as my trustworthy partner in this so I'm confident in facing them.
I chose this cover picture because I really like Kiki's Delivery Service and think that the characters kinda look a lil like us appearance-wise hehe. If we ever go to some dress-up event like Halloween's we could consider going as Tombo and Kiki maybe :P
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