But these years have seen me change, grow, and come to an unfinalized conclusion - head over heart.
Head over the heart. Decisions based on contemplation rather than impulse.
I used to be passionate with the things I loved, acting on my feelings. Fuelled with emotions I was always the starry eyed idealist who leapt into the heat of things recklessly.
Looking back at the me then feelings of regret, disgust and scorn fill me because my heart never got me anywhere or anything in the end. Throwing in more of my effort into the flames of passion only garnered more useless ashes and dirtied my hands with soot.
Feelings hurt. You hurt others and yourself. Why do we all like to inflict pain on one another? People seldom ever think about how their impulsive decisions affect others. You may have been angry for a brief moment and taken it out on someone, thinking nothing of it. But your cutting words are left ringing in their minds. Echoing. Burning deeper and deeper.
You may like someone and it's probably unrequited. Your thoughtless persistence that you deem romantic is most probably a huge burden on that person.
I'm still inexperienced and I'm learning more about being human. But I've had enough of hurting one another. I'm going to protect myself by guarding my feelings behind my mind. By fighting off the surge of emotions and dealing with things practically.
Because we don't live in a drama play or fairy tale. We live in reality. Leave the romance and passion in your imagination. We're weak, every one of us. So we shouldn't try to bite off more than we can and think we're the main character of life, acting all dramatic, unthinking.
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