Traveler

There are so many things i want to be, want to do.

But there's so little time - even though I'm still in my adolescence i feel an underlying fear that seems to claw its way through my gut...and i just feel so uneasy.

I want to experience the world. I want to be everywhere and everything, just to know how it feels like.
I want to know how it feels like to be among the throngs of people in a bustling, crowded city centre, or a zen-filled temple by the countryside; be on top of a snow-capped mountain, or down in the depths of the oceans.

I want to feel the security and confidence of a high-flyer, and the constant fear of a refugee, and the hopelessness of the impoverished and starving.

My greatest ultimate fear is that nearing the end of my life that is so small and insignificant compared to the world, I will lose sleep thinking of all the things i could have done in my youth, the regret gnawing through silently yet painfully as i lie on my sickbed.

I want to be a traveler. A traveler who loves the world but can't form an attachment to one place. The world would be my home, but to the people i meet i would be a homeless traveler who can't exactly return to the same place.

But as spectacular as my dream sounds, it is almost impossible.

I'm too cowardly, and to embark on such a journey would mean a life of no rest - just constant exploration.

Like so many other people in the world, I also have an innate longing to settle down comfortably doing the things i love with the people i love.

But I'll always have a dream to explore and find something new and enlightening just around the corner.