"Love Life"

"So...how's your love life?", is what I've been hearing pretty often recently from old friends when we catch up.

I always reply that my "love life" is nothing much, or even practically non-existent (I've no life!!) - and somehow I get a teeny bit disappointed about this (on behalf of my friends too), probably because I'd feel as if there's nothing for me to talk about (WHEN I'M ALREADY SO BORING).

Now you'd probably be scoffing that it's really not a big deal at all and yes, I totally agree. Sometimes I find that romantic love is a concept that is often overrated and hyped up. You shake your head as you watch your friend disintegrating into a soppy mess as they tell you about their "love life", and give yourself a mental facepalm when they wreck themselves up over love problems that aren't really problems in the first place. You painstakingly type out explanations and advice when they confide their afflictions to you on the phone, only for them to reply with "But...!", making all that effort and time go down the drain since their burning feelings of love numbs them against the shortcomings of their target and apparently all traces of practical sense as well.

But you can't really deny that being in love is really a heck of an experience. It makes you all excited and jumpy inside when you try to casually talk to the person you like, and seeing that special person melts away all the prior bad mood that was affecting you all morning. That's why it sells so well everywhere in all mediums, and that's why people get especially interested to know about each other's "love life". HECK, it's even given a "life" on its own!

Yet, beyond all that heart-stopping breath-taking (that's why they say love is a fatal disease) action, being in love seriously beyond just having a peek at dear old senpai from behind a wall is exhausting in all ways. It's a commitment that requires nurturing, effort and plenty of contemplation, which would start paving the way towards the next few steps of major commitments in life like marriage and starting a family. I've heard plenty of stories from female friends about their "love lives", watching them as they start off starry-eyed maidens in love before falling into pieces of disappointment and futile longing. On one hand I feel sorry for their loss, and on the other I take comfort in the idea that I am not in any precarious relationship subjecting me to potential heartbreak and instability. It gives me a sense of freedom from not having to worry over such things and instead focusing on the things in life that are sure to make me happy. And that's also why they say love is a gamble, because not all things are transparent and feelings can be fleeting.

However, I do admit at times I wish I was in a loving relationship with someone special. I'd think of the things we'd do, the places we'd go and the conversations and moments we'd have together, and smile at those prospects. But I don't want a "love life" where things are dramatically all flowery and fantasy-like as if its a world, a life on its own. When that world fails, it would be as if I died. For now I'll focus on the one life I have now without actively hoping and searching for someone. If it is God's will, I'll meet someone with whom I can walk with together in that one life that just gets stronger and more fulfilled along the way.