Transience

My outlook on life is very much influenced by the Japanese aesthetic perspective of wabi-sabi and its concept of acknowledging the transient, fleeting and imperfect nature of life. Wabi-sabi is also said to be derived from the Buddhist teaching of sanboin, or three marks of existence - impermanence, imperfection and non-self.

What's interesting to me was that I had been unconsciously and progressively internalising this way of thinking before I identified it - meaning that I had been and am still very intimately embracing these three strands of thought before I learnt very recently that they formed part of Buddhist teaching or Japanese aestheticism. It's probably through years of exposure to and interest in Japanese culture that such concepts gradually became ingrained in me. Hence when I realised that all the while my mindset had been exemplifying evidences of wabi-sabi or sanboin, I felt a sense of gratification.

Because of impermanence, we desperately seek to preserve things, to defy the trickling down of time. 

Because of imperfection, we strive for excellence, and become continually unsatisfied and disappointed easily when things fail us.

Because of vanity and narcissism, we grow self-centred and defensive, and quick to find flaws in others.

It is only human to want to be immortal or to immortalise, to seek perfection, and to find self-worth in various ways. I constantly dream of a life with no loss of whatsoever too. Yet instead of subjecting myself to a futile struggle against inevitability, I've come to a conclusion that acceptance, tolerance and appreciation is the ultimate way to live out my fleeting existence.

The world we live in is both beautiful and cruel at the same time. I have been greatly privileged to live a good life so far, so it would definitely be easier for me to say that fighting is unnecessary and futile. Yet, there are privileged people still concerning themselves with petty affairs, failing to consider the bigger picture. I find that such a waste, since this life is short.

I'm still terrified, especially about impermanence. All too often, I take things for granted only to realise their worth too late, and despite being aware I never truly learn. Ideas of immortality and freezing time or time travelling are therefore especially intriguing and tantalising. As I acknowledge such thoughts, I begin to understand more about the need for religion to stave away such fears or emptiness, to give an assurance of either an eternal life after death, or a second shot at life through reincarnation.