Water

Water. Because I've been downing gallons of it over these few days in a bid to flush away every strain of the flu virus in my system.

Anyway I learnt something new yesterday. Did you know that you could be dehydrated even despite drinking lots of water? This condition is attributed to adrenal stress. I'm kinda lazy to explain what it is exactly, but generally it is sort of slight malfunction of the kidneys in its production of some substances due to stress in the body that can be derived from lack of sleep or mental strain. As such, water is not properly absorbed by the body resulting in dehydration.

Why the random subject? It's not that random actually. It started when I fell sick and began to gulp down cups and flasks of water almost continuously over these past few days. However even despite my drastically increased water intake, I found that my lips were drying up and cracking, ulcers were forming in my gums and my urine was dark yellow (cue disgusted expressions) - and it puzzled and worried me. Thoughts like "Do I have diabetes" and "Is it kidney failure" were popping in my head every time I took note of the symptoms, which prompted me to consult the Internet for an explanation. And that's how I came to be enlightened about adrenal stress.

Even though I was ill, I wasn't silently rejoicing and revelling in using my flu as an excuse for more rest (and that really means play), like how I would back when I was in my uniformed school days. University life has indeed changed my mindset. On the contrary, I was panicking and worrying about whether I could still meet the deadlines and prepare for tutorials in my condition. As I reflect on these past few days in retrospect, I was in awe at how drastically I've changed in my working attitude.

Worried that I would not be able to clear the list of work I made to clear over the weekend from Friday onwards, I woke early each day and stayed at my desk for the most of the day until late night, working continuously at each task while occasionally taking breaks in between by watching Buzzfeed videos and anime.

My parents constantly implored me to rest properly in order to recover, but still supported me by letting me continue to work while coming into my room at times to check on my temperature and giving me all sorts of medicine and weird concoctions to help me feel better. Honestly, I feel bad that I'm worrying them so and not spending as much time as I should with them during busy periods like this. My parents are really the most supportive and encouraging parents too, because I was talking to them about finding my eldest sister Stella's university thesis and project works and feeling discouraged that I would never be able to reach her standard. They assured me that I'm only in my first semester and that I would eventually get there, just like how a primary school student would look at a secondary level essay and feel intimidated only to realise that it is achievable when he reaches that level himself. Their wedding anniversary is next week, so I ought to do something to thank them properly.

So anyway, I was really getting stressed as I worked, especially for my Quantitative Reasoning project work since it was hard to get all my group mates together on the same page to work effectively. I felt horrible and useless at times but I could never fully tear myself away from my laptop because it had become an unhealthy source of assurance that I was being productive.

Over the span of these few days I noted my symptoms but didn't check on what it actually was yet until yesterday when I managed to clear most of my work. When I looked through the to-do list I was pleasantly surprised that I was ahead of schedule, which made me relieved since I could now relax and properly rest. When I learnt about adrenal stress after that, everything clicked. It was due to the fact that I had concentrated so much time and effort into work that my already weak body became more stressed and could not properly absorb water. To test whether I really had adrenal stress, I observed my symptoms again since I was relaxing for the most of today and found that my body was getting hydrated again. At least, I didn't have diabetes haha.

This taught me a lot about the consequences of overworking. However I can't say for sure that I've learnt from my "mistake", because beyond health concerns, I've become psychologically attuned to work as a sort of distraction by itself such that I could lose myself in it and feel justified in doing so. It is unhealthy and I'm not just harming myself, but indirectly affecting my family as well. I should try to at least not resign myself to such a mindset and work on a more effective way of being productive.