gosh I've been busy busy busy but blogging and writing in my diary helps me to de-stress so here's a post:) But my diary has been really stagnant - I've only picked it up a few times to read the past entries and laugh at my past self.
Mid year results for Chinese econs and maths are back and i'm like :/ Maths I already expected to do badly cos I have no interest or talent for math whatsoever, and econs i'm like EEEUUUUUAAAARGGHHHHH cos I actually expected to do decently for it yet cos of my terrible structuring and terrible choice of essay question I didn't do well *stomps on econs paper* as for Chinese I did pretty okay,but my paper 2 pulled me down gahh
I'm looking forward to getting back lit and GP, but not geog cos Mr Najib said "My mom told me if I had nothing nice to say I shouldn't say anything" when all of us asked him how was the geog papers that he marked.So i'm expecting to do badly for that even though I prepared really hard for it.
And apart from all these stress and anxiety from the results, I have sickening PW to worry about,Guitar Farewell Party games to organise and my life to mull about. I'm so tempted to lock myself in my room and rot there forever on my one true love - my bed.
Because when things go awry and the world turns its back on you, the lovely bed provides all the comfort you'll need. BED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
Life is so bland right now.And what do people always say about bland lives? You need love.
SCREW LOVE I HAVE MY BED.
I'm starting to get a better control over my feelings now, convinced that such feelings are really troublesome cos they can get in the way of a good judgement. Of course I do not swear off guys and go all feminist (girls ARE awesome) - I still melt at pictures of Ryan Reynolds
RYAN REYNOLDS IS HOT.I'm still trying to convince Dawn that Ryan Reynolds is awesome. But both of us have differing tastes. I like broad and buff guys like Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman (Just look at those biceps pecs and abs oh gosh) but Dawn likes thin undernourished feminine looking guys like Tom Hiddleston, the guy who plays Loki.
Oh and the eyesssssss the feature I look at the most are the eyesssssss I LOVE BIG EYES but i'm not blessed with big eyes tsk. Oh man now as i'm writing this post i'm scrolling up occasionally to look at Ryan Reynolds I need help haha
Right now I think I can survive just by looking at these prized specimens of masculine beauty without being in love in real life. I've been able to be normal in school nowadays when I see my eyecandy (the encounters are becoming much less frequent now) so it's PROGESS!
I hope i can survive another 1.5 years in JC and the rest of my life. People around me have their eyes set on snagging that dream job and earning the big bucks, but all I want is to live peacefully. I want to get out of Singapore and live in some other place where i'm surrounded by space, like New Zealand! Ideally I want to work and save up enough money to migrate overseas with my parents if they are willing. If I worry about living and dying alone at some point I can adopt a kid and raise my kid up and be my kid's best friend, like how my mom's my best friend.
And then I will die, either naturally or unnaturally, at a ripe old age or prematurely and be forgotten once my name is uttered for the last time, disappearing into thin air.
The Only Exception by Paramore
When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist
But darling, you are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
But you are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof, it's not a dream, oh
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on
my way to believing
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