When I'm alone, they come.
Quiet as the falling of dusk, unsettling like the coming of night.
Why do I think, why do I feel? Why can't I live in the bliss of ignorance to the destruction this world is coming to? People crouching in their individual cages of thorns, hurting one another and bleeding themselves out in the process. Feeding on empty pride, living off on insecurities. Starving themselves of understanding and forgiveness, gripping tightly onto their pasts and upbringing. As if they're the reasons for existence and self-worth.
With recent news from the shaming of a local disabled cleaner (and the perpetrator who is now also a victim of online shaming) to the deaths of a talented singer and over 50 lives at the gay bar Pulse in the US, I can't help but feel sorry. And what else can I do but that? It doesn't change anything - it doesn't change this world and its people. We are descending even further to our own destruction. It hurts even more to read the comments on such news - with the netizens launching into petty wars among themselves. As if the actual problem isn't already devastating enough.
Do pointless, never-ending and exhausting struggles of selfishness and bigotry give people so much satisfaction that they thrive on it? When they get caught up in a flurry of passion and hurl insensitive insults or blows at others, do they pat themselves on the back for having done something useful and beneficial to Man, and enjoy a good night's sleep after that? Truly? It's not impossible isn't it, seeing how twisted this world has become.
These people would go on and boast to their children how they condemned those who are different - the weak, the sick, the poor, the minorities - and teach them how "this is power, this is strength, this is what being great means". They raise a new generation of what I describe as "thorn cage inhabitants" who don't have any qualms of murdering those whom they find an eyesore - be it literally or in spirit. Destroy, destroy and destroy even more - this is how you protect yourself and how you win, because everyone loves a winner regardless of the blood on their hands, don't they.
Can I even dare to imagine bringing a new life to this world ever in future? To have to struggle between teaching my child to love and understand this beautiful but broken world, and equipping my child sufficiently to protect him/her from those who are out to crush and destroy? And to not have an answer to quell all the fears and pain he/she might go through when he/she asks me why the world is such a cruel place?
When I'm alone, they come.
Quiet as the falling of dusk, unsettling like the coming of night.
These thoughts that haunt me.
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