I haven't posted anything since last year!? Nah, really it was only a few weeks ago.
Actually I had a half-written draft that was roughly about reflections on the past year, thoughts about how overrated new year countdowns are and hopes for 2017...but I lost motivation part way through when I got tired of seeing those (albeit shorter versions) as I scrolled through social media. Don't get me wrong, I'm not belittling the reflections and aspirations of others. But a part of me somehow tries to resist following the masses - at least until the current hype dies down. (Yes, I'm more often than not that person who gets excited over something everyone else has already gotten over.)
On Tuesday afternoon, I saw Dawn off at the airport before she flew off to Canada for her exchange studies there. Part of me was excited for her, another part was a little sad that she'd be away for so long, and yet another part was worried about how she'd fare over there. And I thought, this muddle of feelings must really be part of what being a long-running, true friend is. Because when I think about how I'd feel if just about most other people I know fly off, and I end up with indifference.
I don't have many of such friends for whom I care so deeply about. Dawn and Iggy come to mind first when I think about it. Dawn and I met in VJC, while Iggy and I go all the way back to secondary school days in BPGHS. I've probably said this many times, but I'm grateful for these friendships. The reason probably is because I find that it's generally hard to be close friends with me. I can still be friendly and sociable to most people I meet, but I tend to get all defensive and distant the more people try to reach out to me.
So how did Dawn and Iggy wind up being such close friends? Well since it's friendship we're talking about here, it goes both ways so I can't exactly give you the full picture. But for my side of the story, it went like this.
Dawn was extremely (yes, extremely) extroverted and outgoing when I met her during our orientation in VJC, so I was initially a little put off by all the energy that threatened to suck away mine (the horror of all introverts!). But because she hung around and persistently talked to me all the time, she somehow slowly established her place in my life and I got used to her. In fact, her extreme candidness made me feel comfortable around her, since I'm usually guarded due to my insecurity of people talking behind my back. She was the first friend since primary school that I would actually quarrel with and ignore, before easily reconciling again. It felt nice to thrash it out with someone instead of having to silently grin and bear with the misgivings of others. Sometimes when I need my own personal space I'd not reply her messages, or decline meeting up. But she knows when I'm in those phases (and never lets me hear the end of how unfriendly I'm being when we eventually talk/meet).
Iggy on the other hand has a different story altogether. We were classmates for all of lower secondary, but we only really got to know each other much better towards upper secondary. Even though we went to different JCs, we'd still meet up sometimes. This all sounds very normal, but I felt that the crucial factor was timing. We didn't chat everyday or meet up very often. In fact, like Dawn, we could go on a couple of months without interacting and suddenly just talk again right after as if time hadn't passed. This made me a lot more comfortable knowing that we could both have our own space without compromising our friendship. It also helps that Iggy and I share many interests together like anime, theme parks, Star Wars etc., so it makes it easier to talk without having to struggle coming up with a topic. He calls me mean things like "fat" and "old" now, and sometimes makes me feel bad about not going jogging, but I'm glad that we're just close enough to tease each other without offending.
Anyway I thought about "Friends", because I chanced upon a trailer/music video for 『一週間フレンズ。』Ishuukan Friends (One Week Friends).
Rough Translation:
Hase (Yamazaki Kento):
Fujimiya-san!
Please be friends with me! (killer smile)
I'd definitely not do anything undesirable or troublesome.
Every Monday as usual - whatever happens I'll continue as usual,
so please be friends with me.
Fujimiya (Kawaguchi Haruna):
You're Hase-kun, right?
Hase:
(Adorable AF smile) Yes!
First of all the music Kanade by Sukima Switch is awesome!! And gosh Yamazaki Kento and Kawaguchi Haruna look so good?! But really, Yamazaki Kento has been monopolizing all the anime turned live-action film main roles. He did Heroine Shikkaku, Kuro Ouji to Ookami Shoujo, Orange, Shigatsu Kimi no Uso, and now Ishuukan Friends. And I heard he's gonna do Saiki Kusuo too :O But he's ikemen (Japanese for good-looking guys) and acts really well too, so I don't mind :3
Fujimiya has anterograde amnesia that resets every Monday, causing her to lose memories of the previous week. As such, she does not make friends in school and initially rejects Hase's attempts to be friends with her. However, he persists in being friends with her despite her forgetting him every week. I was thinking "How nice" when I saw this, but it really isn't easy at all. While it's nice that there are people out there who would go out of their way to be friends with, it won't work if the other party just doesn't want to. But I guess we all need at least one good friend to share such priceless experiences with.
I just finished watching a gameplay walkthrough of FFXV (courtesy of theRadBrad on YouTube) and it's been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I kinda need to write about it to soothe all the feels that are just going batshit crazy inside.
Since I don't own a PS4 or some other game console compatible with the new game + I probably won't be able to clear the game easily what with my amateur gaming skills and experience, I had to settle with watching the gameplay online.
I've always been absolutely fascinated with the Final Fantasy series simply for their breathtaking otherworldly setting and plot that always extend the boundaries of my own imagination. While I can't say I'm well-versed in all the games having only played FFXIII firsthand and reading up/watching gameplays for some of the more popular ones in the series, I do share the passionate appreciation that FF fans have for the series.
Each new game in the series always seem to endeavour (usually with success) to outdo its predecessor in the various aspects of design, graphics, plot, gameplay, extra features and even background music - in-excluding FFXV. The bar only seems to be set increasingly higher.
If I and many other players/fans have little to no imagination of what could possibly trump the latest existing game and nothing else but just great anticipation and expectation for the next game in the series, imagine the enormous challenge the creators at SQUARE ENIX are presented with. Which is why I don't really complain if the release of a game is delayed or pushed back by even a year or so, since good things are really worth the wait provided you don't die before then.
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed exploring the universe of FFXV in the game, with its relatively flexible interface and extensive features compared to the older games. Graphics and character designs were detailed and enjoyable to watch - I'd sometimes pause just to admire certain scenes for a while. However I find that in boosting these aspects, the plot and character story development in the game were compromised. Of course, you can't have the best of both worlds of gameplay and plot, but I was slightly disappointed and rather unsettled about the end. I felt like I wasn't afforded the catharsis I longed for.
I'll be sectioning my posts according to the different aspects from here on to give a more elaborate review. It'll mostly be a comparison to FFXIII, since it is the latest preceding FF video RPG before FFXV (FFXIV was a MMORPG so not much for comparison in my opinion). This is also where I'd flash the spoiler alert for any soul who has wandered here and wishes to check out FFXV on his/her own first without the influence of my opinions.
Graphics and Designs
I love the amount of effort dedicated to making the FFXV universe as real and interactive as possible. I don't even mind how much the setting resembles our own world and doesn't really venture into the more ethereal or fantasy-like realm such as in FFXIII, because I simply marvelled at the beauty of the designs. For the most part of the game early on, Noctis and his crew cruise around in the Regalia (the royal car) from location to location during which you can really take in the sights. I do wish they had more "natural" settings like in Duscae, even though the cities like Lestallum and Altissia were beautiful too.
However as the game progresses, the universe of FFXV becomes a lot less colourful and more forbidding to suit the dire straits it was in. Though necessary in that way, it was a little frustrating when most of the ending part was dark and hard to see.
The characters, especially the main four guys that the game follows for the most part - Noctis, Prompto, Gladiolus and Ignis - were well-written and complement one another really well. One of my favourite parts of the game was seeing the interaction among the four, and how various side characters or obstacles they encounter always reminded them how important their brotherhood was. My only gripe is that the overall plot of the game didn't really do much justice to these well-written characters, which is quite a waste. I'll describe in more detail in the plot section.
Gameplay
Since most negative reviews about FFXIII seemed to focus on its linearity throughout the game, it seems like the creators took that into consideration and went all out with extra features, side quests and extensive map that affords players more freedom in the game than they can imagine...at least for the early part of the game.
For those who are unfamiliar what linearity in games mean: it simply refers to how much freedom you have sometimes in relation to the progress of the game. Games like FFXIII are considered more linear in that all players generally follow the same route and take on the same main quests as dictated by the game, while in FFXV you run anywhere you want at your own time and have the choice to do whichever side quests you please along the way (of course doing so may cost or benefit you in terms of time taken to clear the game or extra EXP earned). Players may experience the game in the way that suits them, which is swell.
The combat style is really different from FFXIII. You don't lapse into a special fight arena in this one when you encounter enemies, but simply just run head on against them or avoid them as you traverse the map. The paradigm system found in FFXIII where you assign specific roles like medic or ravager to party members is also done away in FFXV. All party members are automatically engaged in combat and attack the enemy all at once (without taking turns). Without a specific medic, you have to rely a lot more on potions and phoenix downs to heal or revive members during the battle.
The combat system that affords player a lot more freedom to move about also increases the chances of blocking or parrying attacks from the enemy and launching blindside attacks on them. This is probably a lot more engaging than in FFXIII where you mostly operate your attacks from a selection menu.
In FFXIII and most other FF games, your selection of party members usually increases in variety as the game progresses and more characters join. However in FFXV you don't get to select your party members or control who leaves or replaces them along the way. Noctis is the sole playable character throughout the main game, though you can control the other characters briefly when executing combo attacks with them mid-battle.
Another thing I look forward to in FF games are the summons. However unlike in FFXIII where you can summon astrals and control what attacks they execute whenever your ATB gauge is filled in the battle, the option of summoning is only given to you according to the system's timing which is very often near the end of the battle to deliver the finishing blow. And the scale of destruction dealt by the summons are just overwhelming, with the epic BGM to top it all off.
Plot
I would say the plot is passable, though I kinda expected a more liberating end after all the tragedy the characters, especially Noctis, has been through.
Things seem to go from bad to worse for Noctis, with his dad King Regis' death, his fiance Lunafreya's death and Ignis' permanent blindness sustained from a battle injury (somehow this got me the most).
He had to make painful decisions to abandon his friends in order to do what's necessary to save the world (a good thing they didn't die). He then fell into unconsciousness to power up for ten whole years before waking up considerably aged to fight the enemy again, and eventually sacrificed his own life at the end of it all in exchange for the power that enabled him to defeat the main antagonist and final boss, disintegrating into a million crystal shards. Talk about a beautiful dissatisfaction.
The end post-credits scene shows the world restored to light, and him and Lunafreya happily and lovingly together in what appears to be the afterlife, but even that wasn't cathartic enough for me.
Screenshot from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJxnYiXDs2E
The general themes of intimate brotherhood, sacrifice for the greater good and growth through hardship does come through during the course of the game. However most of the events of the game don't leave much of a significant impression in my memory, unlike in FFXIII where I can still remember some events clearly. But I guess that's the result of pursuing a more non-linear gameplay.
While it is clear the game is centered on Noctis and his growth to fulfil his role as the next King, I think the stage can still be better shared with the other characters without stealing too much limelight from the main character. For example, I didn't really get to connect with or understand the appeal of Lunafreya's character well enough to make me feel grief over her death. I think that's why there's the FFXV movie Kingsglaive which depicts the events surrounding the death of King Regis paralleling the time of the start of the main game, and the five-episode anime series Brotherhood that gives more insight into the backgrounds of the Prompto, Gladiolus and Ignis to give more background to the main game.
I didn't see the need or significance for Noctis to go through a decade of sleep near the end of the game before coming back to save the day, since nothing seemed to change apart from his appearance. I do dig the older, more regal-looking Noctis better than his younger appearance that just looked so much like Sasuke from the anime Naruto. Only Noctis seemed to change the most over the decade, while the rest just grew more hair haha.
Screenshot from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJxnYiXDs2E
The best part is really once again the bond shared among the four guys. You'll laugh along with them when they fool around and struggle with them when attrition occurs. Even the dialogue during the fight scenes subtly expressed the deep concern they have for one another. I struggled the most emotionally whenever it came to them.
Soundtrack
The soundtrack for FF games are always great, and so is the one for this game which is composed by Shimomura Yoko. I think soundtracks are a vital part of games since they set the mood especially during the battle scenes. The FFXIII soundtrack by Hamauzu Masashi was awesome (refer to an older post where I unboxed the CD pack) so I had high expectations for this one - and I wasn't disappointed. My personal favourites are Fight Fantastica which is one of the battle BGMs and Somnus which is played at the title screen before you start the game.
Overall SQUARE ENIX has really outdone themselves again with the wonderful design and graphics, especially the non-linear nature of most of the game. While I do feel a little unsettled with the plot progression, it was truly an impactful game with lots of detail which I truly appreciate.
I doubt there'll be sequels to FFXV like in FFXIII since it's already established that Noctis has passed into the afterlife with his own sacrifice, but we can't be sure, really. FFXIII-2 opened with a revelation that the happy end shown in FFXIII was only shortlived since the main character Lightning was suddenly swallowed into another dimension with most other people save for her younger sister Serah having no memories of her - which in my opinion was quite a poor progression from the main game to the next. And in the end, Serah the main character of FFXIII-2 herself dies in the game, which leads to the third and last instalment of the FFXIII trilogy. So who knows, the writers may come up with a way to reintroduce Noctis back again.
Anyway SQUARE ENIX did something really cool and cute by creating a mystery CD to celebrate the launch of Final Fantasy XV. Basically it resembles the main game where you get to run around and interact with in-game features, just that it breaks the fourth wall by decorating the universe with bright balloons and all for an eve party literally in celebration of the launch.
What's hilarious is that the CEO of SQUARE ENIX Matsuda Yousuke makes an appearance in game as a boss you have to defeat (they actually made a game character out of him oh gosh). When he did a laser beam attack, Noctis protested that it wasn't fair to which he replies "Because I'm the CEO."
I felt like I could finally breathe when the head invigilator's voice announcing the end of the exam was drowned out by the dragging of chairs and rising murmurs of students as they streamed out the doors of the examination hall. It was a torturous semester, and I'm just glad to be done and over with it.
I met up with Dawn after my paper yesterday to show her the way to the laptop repair store I recommended her and also just catch up a little over lunch at Soup Spoon. I'm reminded over and over again about how grateful I am to have Dawn as a really important and precious friend - even "best friend" doesn't seem to properly embody the regard I have for her. She's been experiencing some sort of "series of unfortunate events" in her life recently, so she was really vexed and frustrated - I believe :') is the best emoticon to describe her overall emotion now haha.
She'll be travelling to Japan for a family trip, and thereafter to Canada for four months on exchange. Even though we don't meet very frequently or talk regularly, I feel like I'm going to miss her tremendously when she goes to Canada and freeze to death in the climate there (LOL). We're probably gonna hang out some time next week I guess, before she goes.
I met up with another old friend yesterday too after seeing Dawn off at the station. Since Boston is currently staying at a camp in Yew Tee, we decided to meet up for dinner in the area! Which is great, because how often do you have friends who happen to be in an area as secluded as Yew Tee where I live (not very often, I can tell you that). I've been bumping into Bos coincidentally outside many times now but we've never actually had time to catch up with each other till yesterday.
From my interaction with Bos I must say I really respect him a lot more than I already do now. His responsibilities and duties are really heavy not just physically but emotionally as well. As he recounted some of the really interesting experiences he had in his work over dinner, I was just awestruck and almost reeling from some of the more graphic descriptions because I just couldn't imagine the things he's seen.
Overall I had a blast catching up with Bos, talking about old friends in VJGE, relatable experiences in stalking the social media of people (HAH) and other things. It'll be awesome to be able to kick back and reminisce the past with other people whom I've known before like this too :)
I'm a little unsure how this one month mid-year break is gonna turn out, but I do have some things I need to do and matters to clear up and sort out properly. I'm dreading the inevitable confrontations to come, but I've got to keep steady and move ahead firmly.
While being utterly overwhelmed by the dry and excruciating content of my revision in the midst of finals, I find respite in several things to retain my sanity (or what's left of it) - one of them being my latest interest in the world of figure skating.
For those of you who keep updated with the latest anime, your suspicions are confirmed - I've been influenced by a recent one called Yuri!!! On Ice which is very simply put, an anime focused on hot male figure skaters who are somehow really intimate with each other (fujoshis - girls obsessed with male on male genres - are definitely getting a field day with this one). And of course I'm sure the fujoshi world is raving over Viktor X Yuri pairing (because I am, despite not being into that genre).
Fun fact: at least three of the characters in the anime are based on real figure skaters! And if you observe the header picture of Hanyu Yuzuru and the main character Yuri in the foreground of the picture below, you can guess right away that Yuri's character is based on Hanyu Yuzuru! (Go ahead and take a couple of seconds to recover from being mindblown :) )
There, there...it made such an impact that you're now curious to watch it right ;)
Jokes aside - It got me curious as to how accurate the anime was in portraying figure skating in real life... and I must say I wound up being swallowed in a black hole of watching video after video and reading up wiki pages on key figure skaters before I managed to snap out of it and resume my revision (albeit reluctantly). Figure skating is a really demanding sport for its athletes, and an intriguing event for its spectators. The way they glide round and round the rink so gracefully and effortlessly, performing loops and spins and at the same time channeling the essence of the music - it's all so spell-binding to watch.
One of the figure skating world's most recognised and talented skaters - Hanyu Yuzuru - is especially great to watch. At such a young age, this guy has wowed crowds and won many accolades with his emotion-filled performances. What draws people's attention to him counter-intuitively is his seemingly low-key but earnest persona that only serves to highlight the beauty of his sequences. Even though he is frequently featured in the media and does photoshoots, commercials and even minor roles in a couple of productions, his shyness and slight awkwardness on camera makes him all the more endearing, unintentionally charming the viewers (and myself included! XP).
But despite his cute charms off the rink, I think Hanyu Yuzuru definitely shines best on ice. My regard for him shot up when I read on how he'd insisted on competing despite suffering a rather serious injury from heavily colliding into another figure skater during the warm ups at the FS Cup of China in 2014. He had a huge cut on his chin that required stitches after the competition. Despite the shock and pain, he went on to perform with his head and chin bound up with bandages and clinch the silver medal for it.
I hope I'd be able to one day see him on ice with my own eyes one day :)
It's been a while, hasn't it! Well, maybe not - it probably seems that way to me because of how much I'd been looking forward to writing.
It's Week 9 of the first semester of my second year, and things have been accelerating to a dizzying speed. Deadlines come and go as quick as the buildings that fly past in the scenery outside the train windows, and after a while it kinda becomes something that you're uncomfortably accustomed to. I revel in times of peace and quiet alone, but even at those times my mind would sometimes restlessly search for another avenue of escape.
I've been trying to set up a calming environment to help me settle myself, and one way is through music. I especially love slow, relaxed tunes that help conjure up images of calming scenes - like a quaint little cafe, a forest in summer or autumn time, or a rustic countryside cottage. Hence recently my attention was caught by "Danny Boy", a song with a tune of Irish origin and lyrics penned by an Englishman.
Dad has a CD with guitar instrumental covers of well-known songs such as Scarborough Fair and Greensleeves that he'd play sometimes on Sunday morning when we're all preparing to go to church. I'd always note the second track for its calming tune that is reminiscent of a countryside home, but never found out the title of the song much less knew there were lyrics to it. So this morning as I did the household chores I decided to play the CD and this time I found out about the name of the song, which is "Danny Boy".
When I searched up the song on the Internet, I found that there was the lyric, or sung version of it. I was a little apprehensive to hear that version of it since I knew the song as an instrumental first, and had the impression that putting words on a tune might diminish the expressiveness of the song emotionally since you'd be distracted by them. To my surprise, the lyrics really complemented the vibe of the tune well, and were beautiful words on their own.
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling
It's you, it's you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
But when you come, and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my grave will warm and sweeter be
For you will bend and tell me that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me.
The song is originally based on the Irish tune "Londonderry Air", but became known as "Danny Boy" when an Englishman Frederic Weatherly wrote the lyrics to match the tune. It is essentially a love song, but the interpretations still vary with one speculating that the song is sung from the perspective of a parent seeing off their son who is leaving for war. Even though it ends with death - or ideas of death - the lyrics are unperturbed and quietly sweet, full of feelings of hope and longing.
It'll be nice to be so content and peaceful even in death; to not be afraid when the time comes for you, but to be filled with happy thoughts for others. Anyway! I decided to pick the cover done by Celtic Woman - their voices are so pure and angelic they are almost instrumental <3 As for the instrumental version, I can't find the one from the CD online, but my next favourite is the flute + harp instrumental of the song!
"I think people, to some extent, subconsciously desire self-destruction." I murmured, gripping the pillow tighter. "It probably isn't subconscious for everyone," she replied.
I somehow recall this particular part of the conversation I had with Dawn when she came over last week. We were lounging on my bed, chatting the hours away. I don't exactly remember how we came to talk about such a morbid subject, but it's a concept I've been chewing on in my mind recently.
Self-destruction. And I don't mean self-harm or suicidal tendencies. I'm referring to the things we insist on doing despite the knowledge that it doesn't do us good at all. I don't think everyone out there is bent on ending their lives prematurely - on the contrary people are terrified for their lives. Yet, it feels as if people enjoy dancing with death, with the delusion that they can control themselves and would never accept death's invitation to his home. Or at least, not so soon.
What comes to mind? Common things around us in the world like smoking, excessive drinking are probably at the surface, but deeper, darker things abound beyond those.
Self-destruction is probably something that comes dangerously close to many, including myself. I feel as if the consciousness that I'm able to do it comes off as a challenge for me to do so. Especially when I am wrought with restlessness and a desire to occupy myself, it becomes tempting to take up the challenge. But then what am I trying to prove or justify? To whom exactly?
I think self-destruction is best dealt with by preventing it from even introduced as an idea in the first place. It's hard at this stage now, with ideas of different conceptions of self-destruction prevalent in the media and in our environment. When we see or hear of them, we get curious and desire to "try" it thinking we could always zip back out as quickly as we got in. How very wrong indeed. Because once we've tasted the experience, we cannot forget it - the deed is done, like how Eve had taken that consequential bite from the forbidden fruit.
I think Dawn is right in saying it probably isn't subconscious anymore. It probably started off that way, but once a person becomes entrenched in acts of self-destruction, he would likely be resigned to that fate and consciously continue with it despite being aware of the consequences. He probably thinks that since he's already waist-deep in the swamp, it's too late to be saved anyway - he might as well continue.
One of my current ear candies from the anime Anohana (watch it if you haven't and prepare lots of tissue paper if you are going to), and a dedication to a friend of mine who'd be going through a difficult time :)
